それから夜明けは来る
by MyNameIsDoodle
Summary: Sequal to "Avant ce soir..." Our heroes go to a new world called Μάσκα but something isn't right. Mokona senses a bad energy and Fai begins to undergo something that will change our heroes lives forever. Yaoi. KuroFai. Title meaning: Then The Dawn Comes.
1. 新しい世界、新しい初め

_**The first chapter to the sequel of "Avant ce soir…" and this story is called "**__**それから夜明けは来る**__**…" **__**meaning "Then The Dawn Comes". The chapter names will be in Japanese new since Kurogane's original language is Japanese whilst Fai's is French, hence the story name last time. A lot was left unanswered last chapter and this time, the pair have to fight to save their relationship and the lives of one another and their friends. The search for Sakura's feathers continues but something happens that will change their lives forever…enjoy the first chapter. This chapter is called: "**__**新しい世界、新しい初め**__**…" **__**meaning "A New World, A New Beginning". **_

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Fai's POV**

The world we'd landed in this time was called Μάσκα and this world was a strange one…it wasn't just the fact that these people lived in a giant dome either. It wasn't due to the fact that many of them didn't even speak. None of the people here seemed to have expressions on their faces. The only person that we'd met so far that held a single emotion on their face was a young lady named Altofalante. She was our tour guide that had met us the moment we'd arrived into this world, although she told us plenty about the country's religion and origins, she never mentioned why no one else seemed to speak and why the streets were practically empty. Syaoran, Sakura, Kuro-puu and I weren't the only ones who raised eyebrows or exchanged perplexed glances. Mokona remained completely silent the entire way round, ears flat against his head. I held the little creature closer to my chest as if to comfort him but he didn't react to my embrace like he usually would. I had a feeling this world didn't hold a good atmosphere…

"You may stay here for the duration of your visit," Altofalante said as we paused outside a dark green painted building with dark brown wooden doors and windows. The place pretty much looked deserted. I felt Kuro's hand rest on my hip and I flashed him a quick smile. He was always protective of me, ever since I got hurt he's constantly holding onto me like Syaoran would for Sakura. It always made me smile. Whenever I was around him, it was like my heart was basking in the warmth of a sun, beaming down within me.

"If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to visit me at the gate," she added, returning a sheepish smile that Sakura gave her.

"The gate?" Syaoran asked, frowning a little.

"The place where we came into this world," I explained. "We'll be sure to do that, Altofalante, thank you for taking us here."

"No problem at all," she bowed briskly before walking away, leaving us staring after her.

Kuro-puu grunted. "This world is strange," he muttered, giving my hip a gentle squeeze. "I don't like it full stop. I say we search for the Princess' feather first thing tomorrow and leave as soon as we possibly can. This place just screams dangerous to me."

Syaoran nodded in agreement. He too seemed eager to get out of this place, to get Sakura away from this world and continue the search for her feathers. Ever since the incident with Ashura, we'd been slow on getting Sakura's feathers. It wasn't only Syaoran whom noticed that Sakura seemed a little chalky these days in her complexion and little more out of it. We'd been so slow getting the last one it would be better to get her feathers as quickly as possible to catch up. I could tell Syaoran was constantly worried, which shrouded his judgement and made him a little more distracted than usual. Kurogane, being the skilled fighter he was and of course Syaoran's trainer, kept grumbling that if he didn't get his act together the kid would become a hindrance. That I highly doubted considering how determined he was to protect Sakura with all he had.

"Now, Kurgs," I warned softly, tilting my head backwards to look up at him. "We just don't know a lot about this world. Maybe tomorrow we'll understand a little more why this place is so…um…"

"Freaky? Weird? Strange? Creepy? Unusual?" Kurogane smirked, throwing out all of these words which would be considered suitable for describing this world.

"It's just different," Syaoran said, looking around at the empty streets. "We better head inside and book a room. Will you and Fai-san be alright sharing a room together?" Kurogane raised his eyebrows. I flushed. Syaoran turned bright red. "Um, sorry I keep forgetting. Okay, that means Sakura, Mokona and I will share a room. Is that alright with you, Mokona?"

I looked down at the white creature in my arms to see its ears still pinned back, corners of its lips tilted downwards. Mokona looked up after a moment, realising everyone was staring at him in confusion.

"Uh…what did you say, Syaoran-kun?" he asked, looking around at all of us.

"Jeez, the little furball is quiet for once," Kurogane remarked, snorting a little as if the very idea of our furry little guide being quiet for this amount of time was ridiculous. Though it was kind of strange…even I didn't conceal my anxiety.

"Mokona-chan, are you alright?" Sakura said softly, touching the top of his head, her green eyes filled with concern.

"Mokona's just a little uneasy," Mokona admitted, looking down. "This world has a strange, strange energy and it doesn't feel right…"

"Is it Princess Sakura's feather?" Syaoran joined in, moving closer to him.

Mokona looked at a loss. "Mmm…I don't know…but it's strong and close by! Mokona can feel it!"

Syaoran appeared crestfallen for a moment but quickly replaced it with gratitude. "At least that's something," he said, as if reassuring himself rather than speaking to all of us. He took Mokona from my arms and we went inside the building. The waiting room was completely empty; the furniture fresh and new as if just purchased the very moment we stepped inside. The room smelled of fresh paint and the only person visible was a man at the counter.

I felt Kurogane tense beside me. Being a ninja, Kuro-puu was very sensitive about atmospheres almost as much as Mokona was. He knew when something was wrong and when something just wasn't right. It made me feel uneasy too. We booked our rooms, seeing as though we had a choice of the entire hotel. The place was nice so it was a mystery to why no one had booked a room yet. Our rooms were right across the hall from each other so if anything happened during the night we'd be nearby.

Kurogane didn't ease up, even when we stepped into our room. The room was so serene and pretty. The walls were painted a creamy white all around apart from the area around the double bed where it was painted a light pink. The bed was set up right next to a large window that looked down upon the town and the floors were white and tiled. The atmosphere was a little lighter in here but still, Kuro-puu's tense muscles didn't relax. I turned to face him, touching his cheek. He sighed and closed his eyes, touching my hand against his face.

"What's the matter, Big Dog?" I whispered, pressing my lips lightly to the tip of his nose. "You don't seem happy."

"I'm not, that's why," Kurogane growled, opening his eyes slowly as he kissed my palm.

"What's wrong?" I scanned his ruby eyes to see an emotion there I hadn't seen before.

"It's cold here," he said flatly.

I frowned quizzically. "What?" he'd completely lost me there.

He rolled his eyes, exhaling. "It's the same air that I felt when…" he trailed off. I was lost once more up until the point he touched my right arm, trailing up to the point on my forearm where I'd been stabbed, protecting him. A strange dull ache erupted there and I closed my eyes, knowing full well what he meant now. He was uneasy because he felt the same air…the air that was around Celes.

"Don't be worried, Kuro-bear," I breathed, kissing his lips gently. He kissed me back animatedly, remaining tense and lost in his thoughts. I moved my lips from his and down to the base of his throat, kissing along his collar bone.

"Big Dog worries too much," I murmured against his skin. I felt his body shudder and heard him inhale deeply, his hands snaking around my waist, holding me closer.

"And Big Cat likes sexually tormenting me," he groaned.

"You like it too, Kuro-perv," I purred. The atmosphere and the 'difference' of this world were forgotten almost instantly and we were lost in each other, our worries and doubts drowned out by our soft moans and exploring hands. I never felt this warm and comfortable in my life. It was times like this, when the sun that was beaming down so brightly on my heart, seemed to scorch and explode, shooting stars cutting through the sky like streaks of paint across a blank canvas…

* * *

I'd been sleeping soundly and well for the past few weeks; whether or not it was due to the fact I was sharing a bed with my lover with his arms wound tightly around my waist. But tonight, I felt clammy and like I was drowning rather than snuggling up into the warmth that was of my lover. I felt choked and I felt like I was struggling but my movements were restrained by a tight current, a pressure being applied to my limbs like a snake coiled tightly around me. I felt something wet leak down my cheeks and I felt like my voice was on mute as I opened my mouth to scream but nothing reached my ears. No oxygen was reaching my lungs and even if it did, it didn't help the raw pain there, it didn't refresh my organs and my dry mouth. I wasn't sure if my eyes were open or shut. Everything was just black. I felt something sharp against my back and I tried to cry out but once more my voice failed me. I saw something move and I saw two white dots. I wasn't sure what it was. I felt my body shaking violently.

"FAI!!!"

Darkness vanished almost immediately and I my eyes flew open, my chest rising and falling rapidly, the blood in my head pounding, my heart rocketing against my ribs like a nest of disturbed wasps. My eyes rolled back a little into my head before finally resting on a shadow of someone leaning over me. I realised hands gripping my shoulders. My skin was cold, the quilt and my hair plastered to my skin. I was panting heavily as if I'd just run a marathon or something, running for hundreds of miles without rest. I didn't struggle anymore as the voice slowly registered.

"Kuro…" I gulped the air, feeling the oxygen reach my tingling limbs. I was sitting right up in bed, Kurogane kneeling before me in nothing but his black boxers, his brows furrowed as he watched me slowly relax. I literally fell into his arms, pulling him close.

"You had a nightmare," Kurogane whispered, kissing my damp hair as if to reassure me. "You were screaming. You woke the kid, the princess and the fluff ball too. What the hell were you dreaming about?"

I opened my mouth to answer him but my words failed me. I frowned a little. I had absolutely no idea…

"I…I don't know…" I stammered, my chin shaking as I pulled away from him, searching my brain to get the faintest idea what had scared me so much. My heart was still hammering in my chest and I felt dizzy.

Kurogane gently kissed my cheek and laid be back down. "I'll go let the others know you're okay," he breathed.

He was about to walk away when I grabbed his wrist. "Do you really want to go out in your boxers, Kuro-puu?" I grinned as he turned vibrant red, scrambling for his shirt and some trousers.

I giggled. "You look great with them off too," I winked at him and he turned even redder, grumbling "shut up" as he walked out to the hall.

I could hear the muffled voices of Kurogane talking to the others. I smiled to myself as I felt my heart rate slow down to its regular rate. I turned over onto my side to resume sleep when I felt a small little sting on my lower back. I touched it. I felt something warm and wet. I brought it to my eyes to see my fingertips had patches of crimson liquid. I turned on the light and went to the bathroom, pulling Kurogane's black cloak around my naked body. I stared into the bathroom mirror, turning round to look at my back. A long scratch ran from my lower back to my left hip. At first glance, I assumed it was Kurogane being too rough but the cut was fresh. I remembered feeling something sharp against my back in my dream…it must've been a coincidence. I probably knocked it when I was tossing and turning or maybe it was when Kuro grabbed me to try to wake me up…the two more rational ideas just didn't seem to fit or make sense. I shook my head, turned out the bathroom light and returned to bed, being joined shortly by a very sleepy Kurogane.

* * * *

The next morning I didn't feel any better. I felt groggy and ill and I looked it too. My skin looked waxy as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, gently poking the red puffiness around my eyes with my fingertips. My eyes were so sore. My entire body was a little sore too but I knew that pain was just due to Kurogane's rough love. I felt like I was going to be sick. I splashed my face with icy cold water and waited, leaning over the sink, trembling. It must be down to the lack of sleep…it had to be. I heard a tender knock on the door.

"Wizard, let me in," Kurogane called. "I've seen it all before. You don't have to hide from me. I need to get ready. The kid wants to leave as soon as possible."

I couldn't help but blush at his comment. I shook my hair out and checked myself quickly in the mirror. I looked a little sleepy but not ill. That was good. I didn't feel that nauseated anymore. I took the moment and unlocked the door, skipping out to bounce right into Kurogane's arms.

He sleepily kissed my lips. He didn't sleep to well either I guessed. His eyes looked a little puffy too and he stifled a yawn as we broke the good morning kiss, stretching his arms upwards.

I popped my finger into his open yawning mouth, making him jump in surprise. "Sleepy head," I teased, taking my finger out of his mouth when he gently pressed his teeth to it.

I skipped out into the bedroom, making the bed swiftly. Sharing a bed with Kurogane was like sharing it with a teenage boy. It was never made and he always left his side of the room a complete mess. I felt like a mother, picking up his discarded clothes from yesterday and keeping a hold on his boxers. When his head reappeared around the door, toothbrush in hand, I threw the boxers so they landed on his head.

"Wizard!" He exclaimed, a wicked grin on his face as he ran into me, pushing me down onto the bed and climbing on top of me, trying to shove the boxers in my face. I laughed as I struggled to get him off of me, holding his wrists to restrain him. He seemed to give in after a moment, looking into my eyes as I gazed lovingly into his. He brushed his fingertips down my face and to the corner of my lips, touching his forehead to mine.

"You're childish," he sighed, his other hand intertwining with my left, his thumb stroking along the top of my hand.

"Me?" I echoed, acting hurt and shocked. "That's real convincing, considering that's coming from the one on top of me trying to shove his boxers in my face."

"You couldn't wait to get me out of them last night," he teased, raising one of his eyebrows suggestively. I turned pink, heat flooding to my cheeks at the memory.

"Kuro-perv," I retorted feebly as he stole my breath, kissing me deeply.

"Fai-puff," he breathed against my lips as we broke apart.

"Kuro-suc…" I realised hastily that we were being watched. I turned my head a little to see Sakura, Syaoran and Mokona standing in the doorway, all looking horrified by what they were hearing. I smiled sheepishly at them. Kurogane's eyes widened, clearing his throat as he jumped off of me, not looking up as he stormed into the bathroom, boxers still on his shoulder. I stole a quick glance at his face to see it was scarlet.

I couldn't restrain the chuckles.

"Sorry you had to see that children," I said between laughs, trying to sound bright and enthusiastic, sitting up. "So…um…let's go find that feather!!!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**End of Part One to "**__**それから夜明けは来る**__**…"**__**and I hope you all enjoyed it. The sequel to "Avant ce soir…" has begun and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as the first. I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes etc. I just wanted to introduce the world and what is actually happening to our beloved Fai D. Fluorite. A few song recommendations to listen to whilst reading: "Going Under by Evanescence", "Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry", "It Never Begins For Us by Elisa" and "Don't Forget by Demi Lovato". Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!!!**_

_**Notes: **_

_**The name of the world will be revealed in a later chapter.**_

_**Their guide's name is "**__**Altofalante" which means "Speaker". **_

_**I realised I'd been spelling Mokona's name wrong. I spelled it Mokana. Sorry. So I'm spelling it right in this volume.**_

_**Next time…**_

_**Will it be explained why the air is so different and strange? Why is Mokona acting so strangely? And what was Fai's dream about? Is there a feather in this world?**_

_**To be continued in Chapter Two "**__**何かはではない右**__**…" **__**which means "Something's Not Right". **_


	2. 何かはではない右

**Kurogane's POV**

"You still sulking, Kuro-puu?" the wizard asked me, his voice rose purposefully so the kid and the princess could hear. I swear, he loved to wave it under people's noses that we were dating. I still couldn't get over it myself.

I turned to glower at him to find his index finger poking me straight in the cheek, his eyes sparkling with some sort of delight, the delight that he was now a professional in teasing me.

"What would I be sulking for?" I swatted his hand away, trying my hardest to keep my cool. Fai was now my lover after all. I didn't want to be the type of guy who'd lay a hand on his partner…but sometimes, it was oh so tempting…

"For the children walking in on us this morning," Fai narrowed his eyes, a sinister smirk on his lips, plainly enjoying every moment of this. "Though I must admit it's a good thing they did. If they didn't we'd have been late looking for Sakura's feather. You know, 'cos we'd…" I slapped my hand over his mouth. I felt his lips smile even more beneath my hand. I leaned in towards him, stopping everyone in their tracks.

"Drop it, mage," I warned him under my breath. "Otherwise, you're sleeping on the floor for the rest of this trip."

He seemed to get more pleasure out of that. "Daddy's so firm with me," his voice vibrated against my hand, muffled but I heard it, and it was clear Sakura and Syaoran had too for they turned bright scarlet. I opened my mouth to retort when Fai licked my hand. I drew my hand away and wiped it on my sleeve, groaning as he strode right past me, frolicking almost like a fawn in a field.

I looked up to see Sakura and Syaoran staring, eyes wide, cheeks still vibrant. I felt heat rush to my own cheeks.

"NOT A WORD!" I exclaimed, pointing at them. I spun on my heel and stalked after the wizard. I felt like hitting him…not hard though. I just couldn't help it. He loved teasing me. It was almost like he was asking for it. I couldn't hit him though…I knew he downplayed it, but he was still in pain. That Ashura bastard…the day I'd found out what he'd done to the wizard, I'd sworn to myself no one, not even me, would ever lay a finger on Fai again, unless it was affectionately…

"Oi, wizard," I noticed Fai had stopped completely. I didn't notice anything was wrong until I had sidled up next to him. I peered down at him. At first, I thought he was waiting for me to catch up so he could continue his banter. But at a closer glance, I noticed his one arm was wrapped around his stomach, his other hand against his mouth as if he was heaving.

I swear, whenever I saw Fai in any pain my stomach seemed to turn to ice. Like a bucket of water was pouring over me and I'd only just realised…that numbness came over me and I felt like I was falling down a bottomless pit. My stomach did over a thousand somersaults before I got myself into action.

I touched his shoulder and I felt him flinch, as if he hadn't noticed my presence till now. "Hey, you alright?" I murmured, knowing full well he didn't want me to know what was wrong, never mind the kids. But he couldn't lie to me now, I'd seen it. The kids didn't need to know…I knew Fai never liked being fussed over in that way…

Fai's hand remained to his lips. He nodded. It took him a few moments with his eyes closed till he was able to shakily remove his hand from his mouth. He turned to look at me and I realised his eyes were brimming with moisture. Fai looked even white than usual and when he looked even paler than usual, his blue jewels for eyes shone even brighter. In a strange way, he looked beautiful even when sick.

"Felt a little dizzy," he said quietly. "Sorry."

I took his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers. His palms felt a little clammy. I took no notice and scanned his eyes, lowering myself down a little to his level.

"Does your arm hurt?" I asked softly. When he shook his head, I said: "If you feel sick, Fai, you really should go back to the hotel room. I'll go with you if you like…or the princess will. How does that sound?"

Fai looked tempted for a moment but it quickly dulled and he shook his head slightly. "I'm okay, Kurogane," he breathed, smiling faintly, giving my hand a weak tender squeeze. Now I knew something was wrong. My stomach twisted but I remained silent. On very rare occasions did Fai ever call me Kurogane…on those occasions; he was either being deadly serious with me or his mind was on other things rather than silly nicknames that could've been thought up by a school girl.

"Why we stopping?" Syaoran called, standing a few yards away from us, the princess by his side, raising an eyebrow quizzically. He didn't look too pleased. He was desperate to find Sakura's feather…I felt like shouting back that Fai was sick and that he should be a little more considerate and think of others rather than just his precious princess…but I held back. He didn't need to know and he wasn't aware that Fai was feeling a little under the weather.

Fai had seemed fine earlier this morning…and he was more than fine a few moments ago, prancing past me like some sort of fairy. What had brought this all on? He looked really ill…I hated to admit it, but I was really worried.

"Nothing, we were just…um admiring the view," I lied, such a blatant lie. Syaoran didn't seem to buy it but he must've thought it was something sexual since he didn't push it, the tips of his ears turning a little pink.

"Okay then, let's carry on," he said, holding his hand out to the princess, whom took it eagerly.

Fai looked up at me and gave me a weary half smile. "Thanks, Kuro-bear," he whispered. "Although…" he reached up and tapped me lightly on the tip of my nose. "Your nose seems an inch longer…"

I returned his smile and we followed a hasty Syaoran, hand in hand…

* * * * *

"Any energy here, Mokona?" Syaoran asked for the umpteenth time, looking a little worn out himself as he stared hopefully at the white creature in Sakura's arms.

Mokona had been quiet all day. It was almost difficult to remember he was there. He had been in the crook of Sakura's arm for the entire day, shaking his head every time Syaoran asked if he felt an energy that could belong to Sakura's feather. Mokona seemed to tense a little, as if he was trying his hardest to feel anything at all. He puffed out a sigh after a moment and flattened his ears once more, grimly shaking his head from side to side.

"Nuh-uh," Mokona replied, looking down. "Sorry, Syaoran-kun…"

Syaoran's fake smile couldn't mask his disappointment as he assured our guide that it was no problem and that it wasn't his fault. The only person, who could come remotely close to putting on a fake smile to mask their true feelings and coming across the slightest believable, was Fai. But these days, Fai didn't really use the mask. Only when he was in pain…and that was only to ward off any unwanted sympathy and attention.

The incident that had occurred earlier with the wizard seemed to be completely forgotten. It wasn't long before the colour had risen back in his cheeks, although he had remained distant for the rest of the day. I never let go of his hand, giving it soft squeezes to remind him I was there if he wanted to talk or if he decided he wanted to rest. He turned to look at me every time I squeezed his hand, clouds of pink rising to his pallid cheeks and a warm smile touched the corners of his lips like gentle kisses. I guess he kind of knew we'd have a talk tonight.

The streets had remained empty in this strange town and not a single soul in sight, other than the three people working in a small restaurant called "Máscara desintegrando-se". The one person at the bar, the other working in the kitchen it seemed and the last serving. There were only us there so it wasn't long before we got our food.

Syaoran looked deeply crestfallen. "It's almost 03:00pm and we still haven't found anything, or seen anyone for that matter…" he grumbled, picking at his food grudgingly.

"It is strange here," Sakura agreed, looking uninterested with her meal also.

"Mokona doesn't like it here, nope, nope!" Mokona sounded a little more like himself, although he too seemed to have no appetite, which was strange for the little guy (not that I was worrying or anything). "I keep feeling this strange energy, but it feels nothing like Sakura's feather."

"What could it be?" Syaoran perked up a little. "I guess it's all we've got. Mokona, can you feel the energy now?"

Mokona tried but shook his head. "It's faint here…but it was real strong when we were by that weird building earlier on today!"

Everyone leaned in, raising an eyebrow. "We passed a lot of weird buildings today, furball," I said flatly. "Could you be a bit more specific?"

Mokona looked deep in thought for a moment. "It had a lot of statues outside!"

"Ah, that'd be the city's temple," Fai said, joining in for the first time. I must say I felt a little relieved he was paying attention and not off in some other world. "The world has over nine temples dotted in populated cities. But the one in this city is the largest."

"What's in there exactly?" I asked, frowning a little.

"Not sure," Fai answered, putting his hand to his chin as he idly leaned on his elbow. "But I do know that it is for religious purposes. This world believes and follows one religion and one religion only. It came around only a hundred years ago, so it's a relatively new religion but already has a huge following. Oddly enough, no one outside of this world knows or follows this faith. It's based around the Goddess, Καλυμμένος ενός. According to their religion, she appeared to the city out of nowhere and began telling stories of a "fake one" whom would someday arrive to the world and destroy it, killing every child, woman and man. The fake one was apparently an enemy to the goddess and when the fake one arrives, the goddess Καλυμμένος ενός would protect them. She asked of only one thing…that they build her temples all around the world. The people first ignored her requests but she was extremely powerful, hundreds of natural disasters striking one after another, causing many deaths and loss in housing and crops. The people eventually realised it was the goddess' power and gave into her every whim, hoping that the fake one would never come to their world." He smiled, closing his eyes.

"Wow, Fai-mommy knows a lot!" Mokona chirped, his ears pricking upwards in a sort of excitement.

"Yeah, Fai, that was amazing," Syaoran added, looking extremely confused, as if still digesting this. "How do you know so much?"

"I checked out a book from the local library during our walk today," Fai shrugged nonchalantly, taking the book from the bag that he'd been carrying around with him all day. "I was curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Fai!" Mokona giggled, seeming more like his normal self.

"I hope not…" I mumbled. Everyone else seemed to not have heard me, finding their appetite as they dug into the now appetising looking meals. But the only one who seemed to have heard me was Fai. He glanced at me and smiled sheepishly, taking a sip from his glass of water.

* * * *

Darkness drew in quicker than ever before, although the darkness that had been drawn over us the moment we'd stepped into this world seemed to have melted away and was replaced by a flicker of hope. Everyone seemed a lot more cheerful, including Mokona, whom seemed oblivious to the negative energies now. I even blocked them out for a while. Everyone was so damn happy. Syaoran was in a much better mood and had even taken onto reading Fai's book. Sakura seemed at ease, watching him read with a small smile on her face. Fai also seemed a little more at ease and he didn't look pale again for the rest of the day.

It was agreed we'd continue our search the following day and the rest of the day we'd do research on the world and its religion, which was our biggest lead so far. It was late before we knew it and we retreated back to our hotel rooms, although Mokona insisted that he wanted to sleep in our room with us for the night. I wasn't having it. I knew that furball would keep us up all night.

"Please, Kuro-daddy!" Mokona pleaded, bouncing up and down in Fai's arms. "Pretty, pretty, pretty purple please with pretty plums and sprinkles on top!!!"

"No means no, damn it!" I shouted, his high pitch voice starting to bring a dull pain to my temples. The last thing I needed today was a migraine.

"Waaah!" Mokona wailed, snuggling into Fai's chest. "Fai!!! Daddy just shouted at meee!!!"

"Now, Kurgs," Fai said softly, smiling sweetly at me although he looked extremely tired himself.

"I missed it when you were quiet, you furball!"

"Quiet is no fun!!!" Mokona whined, rubbing his eyes from fake tears.

"Come on, Mokona," Fai said a little firmly, looking down at the little creature. "Daddy and I need to get some sleep. We didn't sleep too well last night and we want some time alone."

I didn't catch on at first but I noticed the shimmer in his eyes as he said that, his eyes seeming to come alight with the hint. I turned bright red. Before I could say anything though, Mokona gave a defeated sigh.

"Okay, mommy," he mumbled through pouted lips, hopping into Sakura's open arms. "But no dirty stuff tonight!"

Fai chuckled. "Alright, Mokona," he said, putting a hand out instinctively to prevent me from charging forward to get my hands on the fuzz ball. "Goodnight!"

"Bastard…" I muttered darkly when we were left alone. Fai smiled up at me, moisture shining against his forehead.

He patted my shoulder before getting the keys for the door. Before he could turn the key though to open it, I slammed my hand into the door above his head, looking down at him. He froze.

"What's up with you, mage?" I demanded, lowering my voice so the kids couldn't hear. "You don't look too good. What are you hiding?"

Fai remained silent for a moment and unmoving. At first, I thought I'd have to speak again and again until he replied. But I heard him exhale gently, dropping his hand from the key in the keyhole. He turned round to look at me.

"I'm fine…" he began.

"Liar," I cut him off, narrowing my eyes. "You're unusually quiet, and you looked like you were going to throw your guts up earlier. What the hell is up with you? If you don't tell me, I swear…"

"I just felt sick, Kurogane," Fai said firmly, it was now his turn to interrupt me. "And I'm really tired…I just want to sleep…" I heard the desperation is his voice as he said the last few words. "Please…I just want to sleep…I'm so tired…"

I cupped his face in my hands, and brought him closer to me, kissing his cheek lightly before moving my hands from his face to lock my arms around his waist, pulling him into an embrace. He didn't pull away or protest. Fai seemed to fall into my arms, his fingers holding onto the back of my shirt.

"I'm sorry," I said into his hair, kissing it. "I just worry so much about you…"

"I know you do, Kuro-care," he tightened his hold on me. "I would feel the same…if it were you…"

I didn't need to be asked. I scooped him up into my arms, bridal style and held him close, turning the key to let us in. He didn't protest. Fai merely snuggled into my chest. I helped him get undressed, receiving a few giggles here and there as he helped me do the same. We crawled into bed, my arms around him from behind, hands resting on his hips. I kissed the side of his neck, resting my chin on his shoulder until he eventually drifted off. I was soothed by the steady deep breaths and I soon followed him, closing my eyes slowly, joining him in sleep…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**One thing. Sorry for the slow update with this story. I had a lot of exams and was unable to get to writing. When I was able to write, nothing came to mind and I wound up writing a paragraph and then exited it, not saving it, dissatisfied. I was really stoked when I got to writing this chapter and it seemed to slow like how it used to be when I **__**got into the previous chapters. I want to thank everyone who reviewed my story and to everyone who saved it and offered their support. I was really nervous about uploading a sequel. Sometimes you can ruin a good story with a sequel but I left so many things unanswered…and "Avant ce soir" was so easy to write and was such a pleasure too!!! I really fell even more in love with this pairing, which I believed wasn't possible. The next chapter is called: "**__**最初の破損" **__**meaning "the first tear". Not as in crying, but as in ripping. Enjoy. I shall update sooner since my exams end for good on Wednesday. Please review and I hoped you enjoyed. **_


	3. 最初の破損

**Kurogane's POV**

I heard him being sick this morning. I noticed immediately when his side of the bed turned cool. I turned onto my side to look over to him but there was nothing but an empty space. I lay there for a moment, assuming he'd gone to the bathroom. Then I heard him being sick. I swore under my breath and got out of bed, standing outside the bathroom door. I yearned to run into the bathroom and stroke his hair, to soothe him in any possible way but I couldn't. If he'd wanted me, he'd have called for me. I just leaned against the wall, arms folded, head bowed as I waited for him to finish. It felt like ages until I heard the toilet flush. I didn't move a muscle. It was a few more minutes before the door knob turned and Fai walked out. He jumped when he saw me, a slight blush flooding to his ashen complexion.

"Kuro-creep!" he exclaimed, putting a hand to his chest as he struggled to conceal his now increasing colour in his face. "You scared me to death! What are you doing…?"

"What are you doing being sick?" I demanded softly, taking his face into my hands, pressing my own forehead with his. His skin felt hot and damp. "You have a fever."

His mouth made a small 'o' shape as we stayed in that position. I noticed his eyes drop to the floor. "I'm fine…" he mumbled.

"You're seriously not, mage," I cut him off, staring to lose my patience. I felt the anger rise in steps. It was getting close to being above my head. I wanted to shake him so badly. My hands itched to do so but I felt them soft and caring against his warm skin. "We're staying home today."

"Wh-what???" Fai gasped, his eyes going wider, panic flashing in his cloudy blue eyes. "N-n-no, Kurogane, please. I'm fine honestly! If we stay, Sakura and Syaoran will…"

"Quit worrying about everyone else," I snapped, only to regret it moments later when I saw the expression on his face. I softened my tone. "Listen, you're staying home today. I'll go with the kid if it makes you feel any better. We'll check out the temple and you'll stay here and rest. I'm sure the princess won't mind caring for you. And after I've done half the day with the kid, I'll come straight back and take care of you myself, the way I should be…"

Fai opened his mouth to protest but I didn't allow him too. I collected him in my arms and carried him back over to the bed. I felt him struggle against me, a feeble attempt but if he wasn't careful I'd have dropped him straight on his head. I laid him down on the bed. He sat straight back up. I climbed on top of him, pushing him gently back down onto the bed, resting his head on the pillow.

"Why do you have to be so difficult, wizard?" I muttered, half teasing, before I kissed his lips to silence any protests that had occurred to him. He didn't protest at all as our lips met. It seemed to be the only way to shut him up these days. When we broke apart, he licked his lips, looking up into my eyes.

"Um…" Fai stammered, seeming to struggle for words. "You know…if you keep kissing me like that, you'll catch it too…"

"I really don't care," I replied flatly, kissing him again just to prove it. "I'd rather have what you've got…I'd take it away for you if I could. You know I would…besides, if we're both sick we can spend the whole day in bed together. That I'd much prefer rather than running around some rundown old temple chasing up some old fairytale."

He kissed me again. I turned extremely reluctant to leave him, every time our lips met. I straightened up a little, leaning over a little as he sat up to continue kissing me, his arms stroking my neck as if to encourage me to climb back into bed with him. No matter how much my body encouraged me to do so too, I had to refuse. I kissed him once more, looking him in the eyes.

"You'll be the death of me, Fluorite," I said, exasperated.

Fai smiled warmly up at me, kissing me again. "You still have to get dressed yet," he pointed out quietly.

I pouted. He had a point. It was oh so tempting to allow him to assist me in getting changed. In fact, I'd trade everything in the world just to stop the clock for a good hour or so, so that we could do just that. Just laze around in the bed and cuddle, that's all I wanted really. To intertwine our fingers and hear him call me stupid nicknames. And to feel his skin heat up under my caresses from my hands and lips. I would give everything for that. But sadly, I had to resist that urge.

"I'll get changed in the bathroom," I grumbled, picking up my clothes and storming into the bathroom.

I've never despised undressing myself in all of my life. I growled at my hands. If only they were his…stupid wizard. He'd definitely pay for this later…and he can't complain, since he's nearly drove me to the edge so early in the morning.

**Fai's POV**

"Take care of yourself, wizard," Kurogane breathed against my lips as we kissed for what seemed to be the 100th last kiss. "If you need me, I'm just down the road…okay? Don't you dare think of getting up either…"

I smiled against his mouth and gave him the 101st goodbye kiss. "Can't you just stay with me?" I asked teasingly, knowing full well the answer. I knew how tempted he was…almost as tempted as I was just to give up the resting idea and go along with him. But in all honesty, I was really tired although I wouldn't tell him that. I would keep telling him I was fine…just to stop him from worrying.

He growled, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead to mine again, his hand smoothing down my cheek to the side of my neck. "I really want to," he whined deeply and quietly so that Syaoran and Mokona couldn't hear. "But I can't. Now, I really have to go."

I was reluctant to let him go. My hands dropped from his shoulders and onto my lap, feeling suddenly cold and empty. I really missed him and he was standing right next to me. I looked up at him, half smiling as he gazed down at me, seeming to miss me just as much as I was missing him. He narrowed his eyes a little as if to say 'stay here' and then turned his back on me, walking towards a rather pink Syaoran. Kurogane cast me one more hesitant glance before closing the door behind him. The room never seemed emptier; despite the fact Sakura was busying herself in the bathroom, preparing a freezing cold flannel for my fever. It had done nothing but gotten higher after this morning but I blame Kuro-puu for that. I couldn't help but relax into the pillows, feeling my eyelids turn suddenly heavy. Sleep became immediately attractive right now…I really hadn't slept well again. I'd had another nightmare…

"Here you go, Fai-san!" Sakura announced her return cheerfully as she carried the bowl towards the nightstand, nearly spilling half of it on the floor as she put it (or rather dropped) it down. She smiled wanly at me and began to squeeze the flannel in the water, wringing it of excess water.

I watched her for a moment, realising the awkward silence cut between us. "Thank you…for staying with me, Sakura-chan," I said warmly, forcing a smile as best as I could, struggling because I was really, really tired.

She looked at me, turning a little pink as she waved her hand at me. "It's no problem at all, Fai-san," she assured me. "I just hope you feel better soon." She gently pressed the icy flannel onto my forehead and took a seat next to my bed. "How's your arm been anyway?"

I subconsciously touched my right arm. "I hardly notice it anymore," I answered truthfully. "I can't lift anything heavy with it at the moment though…but that's expected."

"That's good news," Sakura enthused, giving me one of her glowing genuine smiles. "You had us all very worried! Especially Kurogane-san."

I flushed and felt a pang of yearning, missing him more than ever. Before I could reply though my stomach had decided to shift again, feeling a falling sensation in my gut. My hand flew to my mouth. My knees started shaking and I felt myself heave as my stomach lurched.

"Fai-san?" Sakura sounded perplexed and nervous as she slowly stood up, feeling her hand rest on my shoulder. "Fai-san, what's the matter?"

"Bathroom…" was all I managed before I'd pulled back the covers and had raced into the bathroom. I collapsed onto my knees before emptying my already empty stomach. I put my hand over my mouth, trying to control the heaving of my shoulders, that bitter taste claiming my mouth. Great…I was throwing up stomach acid. Kurogane was _**not **_going to be happy about this. My vision turned a little fuzzy as I shakily rose to my feet, breathing in deeply through my mouth to refresh my dry mouth that was suffering under the taste of my stomach acid.

"Fai-san…" Sakura's muffled voice reached my ears from the opposite side of the door. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get Kurogane-san?"

"No…" I exclaimed, pressing my back against the door before sliding down till I was sitting, my head in my hands. "Please…" I added in barely a whisper. "I'm okay…I just need to relax…"

"Fai-san…" I heard her sigh deeply.

What was going on with me? I hardly ever got sick…ever. Kurogane was already so worried…he was ready to drop all searches for Sakura's feather to stay by my side to care for me…he'd showed such blatant affection to me in front of the kids…he'd have never have done that before. If anything, I was afraid at first that he was ashamed…ashamed that we were officially lovers. Was Kurogane ashamed? Ashamed that he'd slept with another man? I touched my sore, tender stomach, hoping to relax it by stroking it, imagining it was Kuro-puu who was stroking me. I sometimes imagined what would've happened…if I was a woman. Would he be less ashamed? Would he kiss me in public? Would he grunt and pull away whenever I wrapped my arms around his neck in public? Would he still act as if we were still only friends in front of the kids? Maybe he wouldn't…maybe he would…I wouldn't know since I wasn't even sure if Kurogane had ever been in a relationship before…I wonder what his first kiss was like…with a girl…is that what he missed? Did he miss seeing a girl? Would he rather see me as a woman rather than a man? A man he was once so keen to defeat in battle…a man whom he called a coward on a regular basis…a man…just…a man…

* * * *

**Kurogane's POV**

**(Sorry for changes in POV again)**

Nothing…absolutely nothing…by midday, I was pining for Fai so badly I just wound up saying that I wanted to go back home. I didn't bother to disguise the fact that it was because I was painfully worried about my new lover. Syaoran didn't seem at all surprised, although he also didn't bother concealing his disappointment. He sighed, looking down at Mokona, who'd said that he kept feeling the energy but wasn't sure where it was coming from. The weather wasn't as hot as it was yesterday…in fact; dark rain clouds were zoning in and were starting to curtain the ground in a gray misty gloom. We were nearly back to the hotel when it started to pour down.

I literally sprinted up the stairs, leaving Syaoran and the fuzzball struggling to keep up behind me. Why was I so nervous? My hands were clammy…my clothes were plastered against my skin as well as my hair, raindrops dripping from the tips of my hair, falling with a light thud onto the carpet. I opened the door, half expecting to see Fai curled up in bed, his face still red. Instead, I saw Sakura and she was looking troubled. She was standing by the bathroom door, her brow creased a little. When she heard the door open, she looked up to meet my gaze. A small blush came to her face, obviously not expecting us back so soon.

"Oh…uh…Kuro…gane-san…" she stammered, her words seeming to fail her as her eyes darted from the bathroom door to me and then back again. "Y-you're back early…"

"Where's the wizard?" I interrupted, the panic rising up in me more than ever before. He wasn't in the room; a quick scan of the room told me so. The only other room was the bathroom, so he must be there unless he'd run out into the city in the pouring rain…I suddenly prayed he was in the bathroom. I nearly felt my foot take a step back, ready to bolt out of the room to search for him in the rain.

"He's in the bathroom…" Sakura mumbled, flinching a little from the unintended harshness in my voice. "He hasn't…come…out…"

I walked straight forward, repressing a sigh of relief that he hadn't gone looking for us in the rain. I leaned my ear against the door, hearing his laboured breathing on the opposite side. I knocked softly, as tenderly as I could so he wouldn't assume I was angry…I was truly concerned and I didn't want to hide it this time. I was worried, worried like I was on the day when Ashura had hurt him...worried like when he'd told me he'd been raped…worried like when he'd asked me to make love with him for the first time…

"Hey, Fai," I called; trying to soften up my tone to reflect the anxiety I was feeling inside. "It's me…its Kurogane. Let me in please…I'm really worrying about you out here…" I hesitated. "Sweetheart…"

I felt the atmosphere tense a little, as Sakura, Syaoran and even Mokona (king of eavesdropping) all felt like they were intruding on a private moment, a moment only Fai and I were supposed to share. I hardly noticed. I was listening for Fai's movement. I heard a chink that sounded like he'd pulled himself up by the sink. I heard the bolt slide and I slowly turned the door knob to open it wide. Fai was standing there, looking even chalkier than usual. His hand was clutching his stomach. Tears were brimming in his eyes…ready to cascade down his pallid cheeks at any moment.

"It…it hurts…" he whimpered. I noticed every single thing then. I became very alert to every minute movement. I noticed his knees were buckling; his arm was shaking as he struggled to support his own weight, his chin trembling with suppressed sobs, little beads of sweat glistening on his forehead, trickling down his face. I stepped forward. I felt the colour drain from my face rapidly.

"Where, Fai?" I asked him tenderly, although I had a pretty good guess as to where.

His fingers clenched into his shirt to where his stomach was. I stepped forward and picked him up. He was lighter than usual. I turned round and carried him back into the room, feeling all eyes on us as I lay Fai down on the bed. I looked him in the eyes.

"Tell me where about in your stomach it hurts," I murmured. When he nodded, I touched his side.

I received no reaction until I moved round closer to the centre of his stomach. He immediately spluttered and tensed up, squeezing his eyes shut. I didn't need him to tell me. I removed my hand instantly and placed it, instead, lovingly on his boiling forehead. I turned my head to look at Syaoran.

"Call a doctor," I said flatly, leaving no room for argument. Even if I had left room for argument, no one would have argued. Syaoran nodded and handed a very shaken up Mokona into Sakura's arms before running out of the room back down the stairs.

I turned back to look at my lover. I pressed my lips to his moist forehead and claimed his hand as my own, locking our fingers together. His fingers gently pressed against my hand, causing me to look at him.

"Fai…rest…" I began only for him to cut me off.

"Do you hate me…?" Fai breathed his voice raspy and meek.

I didn't answer him. I stared at him…completely shocked…my heart stinging, my eyes filling with moisture that I grudgingly knew were tears. My heart skipped a few beats, before sounding loudly once more in my head, the beats like bangs, like every time I replayed his question in my head, my body was being pelted with bullets…

_**To be continued…**_

_**I hope you enjoyed that chapter! More Fai angst. I feel really bad for putting my wonderful Fai through all of this but it is all explained next chapter. The next chapter will be uploaded tomorrow hopefully since I have the day off to delve back into my Tsubasa Chronicle DVD's and get into the writing mood. A song that really helped me write this chapter was "Save You" by Simple Plan, basically because the raw desperation of the song helped me match to Kurogane's similar ache, that he really just loves Fai and wishes to help him.**_

_**What will happen now to Fai? What will the doctor determine his sickness as? Will Mokona ever find out where the energy is coming from? What is Kurogane's answer? Find out in Chapter Three - **__**明快さ**__**… **__**(Meaning clarity). **_

_**Ps. Sorry for any spelling mistakes and please review.**_


	4. 明快さ…

**Fai's POV**

Kurogane's face simply tore me apart inside…I felt my heart jolt at the startled expression that stole over his features. I couldn't bear to see it; the pain was clear in his eyes. I had to rip my eyes away from his, turning my eyes to my hands that still rested in his, although his hold on them had slackened. I felt him stare at me but I couldn't bring myself to look back up at him. My vision was blurring a little as tears filled my eyes. I knew I'd hurt him…I wanted to take it back but I knew I couldn't. I wanted to know…did he really hate me. Did he hate me for being a man? Did he hate me for being his lover? I couldn't help my gender…I couldn't give him everything he wanted. I wasn't a woman…did he want to leave me for a woman? Was he reluctant to show affection because he was ashamed? Ashamed that he was in a same sex relationship…something so many people look down upon with disgusted faces. Kurogane was always the kind of person who cared what other people thought of him…did he think everyone would lose respect for him? Because he was with me…

"Fai…w-what are you talking about?" Kurogane finally managed, his voice sounding stricken and taken aback. "W-what do you mean do I hate you? Why would you think that? Look at me…Fai…"

I felt his warm hand touch my chin, forcing me to tilt my head back upwards to look at him. I kept my eyes glued to my hands, defiant tears spilling from my eyes. I pressed my lips together, afraid if I opened them I would wind up sobbing my heart out, afraid that if I opened them that I would ask if he was ashamed of being my lover. I wasn't ashamed…I didn't care…but did he?

"Fai…please…please look at me…" I felt Kurogane's hand caress my cheek, begging me to look him in the eyes, to explain to him what I meant. I could sense he was scared…he was terrified. Terrified that I doubted him, that I didn't love him anymore…it was neither of those things. I guess I did doubt him to a certain extent…but I didn't know. I really didn't…

I forced myself to look upwards, our eyes locking immediately. His eyes were beginning to overflow with tears, a mixture of concern, confusion and despair wading through those water filled eyes. Guilt wrenched at my already throbbing stomach.

"Do you hate me…?" I repeated, my voice sounding weak to my own ears. "…for being a man?"

His eyes widened, startled. I knew he was caught off guard with my question. He hadn't seen it coming…in all honesty, neither had I but I actually felt like he was embarrassed about my gender, about his own sexuality. Fact was, he'd slept with another man. Did he see it as something to hide? Something that he was scared of being looked down upon?

"Fai…" he started, his touch lingering on my face a moment longer before dropping completely to his side.

"Kurogane-san," Syaoran said quietly, knocking lightly on the door. "A doctor is here…"

To my horror, Kurogane nodded, not taking his eyes from mine for one moment before turning his back completely on me, the hand that I'd held dropping out of mine as he left the room. I stared after him, my hand reaching helplessly out for him, grasping nothing but cold empty air…

"Kuro…gane…" I whispered, tears falling helplessly from my eyes. My fingers curled inwards towards my palm, dropping limply to my side. I hardly noticed when the doctor sat next to me, his words nothing but white noise, not connecting or making any sense. I felt hands on my shoulders, gently pushing me down onto the bed. Syaoran was standing next to me, his hand on my shoulder, his eyes sincere as they tried to be soothing, and his hand squeezing mine. I flinched. It was almost like a slap across the face…reminding me that Kurogane's hand was now absent, snatched away from mine…

* * * *

Kurogane didn't come back into the room…I stared at the empty doorway for the entire duration of the doctor's check up. Syaoran continued to hold my hand, as if trying as hard as he possibly could to replace Kurogane for the time being. It didn't come even remotely close…although I was grateful…grateful that he was there holding my hand. It wasn't that I was scared of the doctor's conclusion or that I was in much pain anymore. My body continued to hurt but it was nothing compared to the painful beats of my heart, beats that did nothing but pine for Kurogane's presence…as if it would someone miraculously make everything 100 times better…

The doctor exhaled loudly, as if to catch my attention. I caught a glimpse of him inclining his head towards the door for Syaoran but I swiftly looked away. I didn't want to know…in all honesty, I wouldn't care if the doctor told me I was dying. I just wanted to get up and find Kurogane…the sooner this doctor was gone, the sooner I could go find him and explain to him.

"Fai-san," Syaoran said softly, in an unintended patronizing manner. "I'm going to talk to the doctor for a minute…will you be okay…? By yourself…?"

I forced a weak smile, struggling to hold his anxious gaze. It's been a while…since I've used this mask…

"Yes…of course, Syaoran-kun," I said, trying to relax my very tense muscles desperately. My muscles felt extremely tight and it was hard to relax…I felt literally sick to the very pits of my stomach. I was lying in the bed where Kurogane and I had made love in…the bed where we'd held one another…it felt like those memories were clinging onto my body, sinking into my skin and turning every part of me into a numbing ice.

**Kurogane's POV**

The doctor had insisted that I'd go back into the room…saying that it concerned me also. I wanted to cry…when I walked into the room…seeing Sakura sit on the chair beside Fai, stroking the hair from his very flushed face, eyes squeezed shut, lips tight. I knew it should be me…sitting there and soothing him, cooing him through every little pain that he felt, letting him squeeze my hand whenever it hurt. That was what I should be doing…not standing here sulking, finding myself completely and utterly jealous that Sakura was the one giving my lover comfort. That is, if Fai still wished to remain my lover. I knew with all of my heart that I wanted to be remain his, I always want to be his like I always want him to be mine. I was the one he could run to, to confide to, to kiss, to cry to, to laugh with, and to feel loved by…

But still, all I could do was stand there moderately close to his bed, staring intensely at his face, noticing the small jerks of his body as the pain came. I crossed my arms firmly around my chest, feeling my fists clench, biting my nails into my palm as if to feel remotely close to the pain that Fai was feeling right now. The doctor glanced nervously at me. He was the kind of guy that fidgeted a lot, he looked very uneasy being here. He was different…from the other people in this city. We hardly saw anyone apart from people in the shops behind the tills and of course that chick that met us at the gate. If anything, I'd want her here right now, telling us what was wrong with Fai rather than this oaf who looked like he would ask if fire was hot. The doctor put the back of his hand against Fai's forehead.

"His temperature seems to be rising," he said, partly to himself but loudly enough so everyone in the room switched on. "But I think I know the reason behind these sudden pains and sickness."

I felt like swearing at the top of my lungs. This guy was beating around the bush, as if he was reluctant or something to tell us what was wrong with Fai. It was as if he wasn't sure he was right and was scared of sounding like a fool. This guy really was getting on my last nerve…

"What's wrong with him?" I said roughly after the doctor seemed to drift off into his own thoughts, I think he was wondering where he should eat for the night.

"Well, I really don't know _**how **_to explain it," the doctor sounded even more hesitant, fidgeting with his hands. "But, I think the reason Mr. D. Fluorite is having these pains is because…" he exhaled, looking me straight on in the eye. "Because he is pregnant."

I hadn't been expecting that…my heart and mind was preparing for something horrific, like Fai was dying of a terrible disease…something I would fall onto my knees for. But still, this news still brought me to my knees. Fai's eyes snapped open and he stared at the doctor like he was absolutely crazy. I think the doctor was crazy…Syaoran, Sakura and Mokona all had their eyes wide and were staring at Fai and then to me. I think they were more shocked by the fact Fai and I had been having sex rather than the fact that Fai, my male lover, was pregnant.

"H-how is that even possible?" I choked, glaring up at the doctor, hoping that if I glared hard enough that he'd crack and accept it was just some sick joke.

"Well, the reason Mr. D. Fluorite's body is under so much pain," the doctor looked deeply uncomfortable. "Is because his body is adjusting for the baby. Although, if the child were ever to be born, it would have to result to a caesarean…since…well…he doesn't have the right…"

"What do you mean _**if **_the child is ever born, doctor?" Fai spoke for the first time, sounding on the verge of passing out right there and then, his eyes alert as he slowly began to sit up in bed.

"Well, the birth of a child for a man is…well, near enough impossible," the doctor explained. "It would be extremely dangerous for both you and the child. If you decide to keep the child, there is a high possibility neither of you will survive."

I started laughing, shaking my head and rising to my feet, moving a little closer to a perplexed looking Fai and doctor.

"_**Near**_ enough impossible?" I echoed. "Doc, it is impossible. How on earth did Fai get pregnant??? He hasn't got any of the…y'know…"

"Yuuko's medicine," Mokona's high pitched voice seemed to cut through me, causing me to swing round to glower at him from where he sat on the end of Fai's bed.

"What you talking about, rice ball?" I demanded, becoming even more confused by the minute. My lover was pregnant…Fai was pregnant…I was a dad…I was going to be a dad…

"Well, when Fai was hurt we used Yuuko's medicine to make him heal quicker," Mokona replied, starting to pick up the doctor's fidgeting. "The medicine changes the body over the three days and well…you and Fai…well…" he blushed. "It must've caused the medicine to react with…what you were doing. And changed Fai's body to accept your…" he was like a child who was scared of talking about breasts or even acknowledge that things like sex existed.

"Let me get this straight," I cut him off. "When Fai and I had sex, the medicine reacted and changed Fai's body to accept…my sperm? Is that what you're talking about?"

Mokona turned even redder, hardly any of his white fur visible now. "Well…yeah…" he mumbled. "Yuuko's medicines have done that before…i-it's not uncommon for two men to have a child together…not after taking such powerful potions like Fai did."

I noticed from the corner of my eye that Fai had touched his stomach. I yearned to do the same but I knew it'd have to wait until we were left alone. So…that pain…that horrible pain Fai was going through…was because his body was adjusting for our baby? I felt a sudden pang of guilt…although I couldn't understand why. Did I feel guilty for Fai becoming pregnant? Did I hate myself for it? Was that why…was that why he asked if I hated him? Did he know all along…about the pregnancy?

"You will need to take medication for the time being," the doctor cut through the silence, nearly making me jump. "Until you decide what you wish to do, Mr. D. Fluorite. Whether you decide to keep the child or not. But I recommend you and Mr. Kurogane to talk about it first…" he looked at me with a new disapproval, almost as if he was secretly disgusted by the fact I'd slept with another man. I shot it right back at him, refusing to stop staring after him even after the door was closed and we were left alone.

"Kurogane…"

I turned around to see Fai was sitting upright in bed, his hands in his lap, staring down at his hands. I didn't need to think about it. I walked over to the bed and sat next to him, my back to him as I stared at the floor. The news was still sinking in…like swallowing a pill dry…I had no warning to make it easier to digest so I was struggling to accept it. I was going to be a daddy…well…it all kind of depended on our choice. The doctor's voice rang in my ears: "_**It would be extremely dangerous for both you and the child. If you decide to keep the child, there is a high possibility neither of you will survive**_". So if Fai…if Fai wanted to keep this baby…Fai would most likely die…no, I wasn't going to have that…I couldn't lose him…not again…not like the time I was so scared he'd died…

"What…what are you going to do?" I asked when he didn't say anything, clenching my fists even tighter, praying with all my might that he would decide to get rid of the baby. It sounded dreadful I know, but I loved Fai. There could never be another Fai…what would happen if I lost both? How could I possibly cope knowing my lover and my child were gone? I'd have nothing left in this world. I wasn't ready for this…

"I…" Fai whispered, his voice shaking a little. "I want to keep it…"

My blood went aflame. I had to restrain myself from jumping five feet into the air and shaking him, shouting at him to listen to reason. The odds were against him…why was he so keen on having this child if he would die? If he would never get to hold the child? To name it, or watch it grow? What was the point of giving your life away for something you'd never know?

"I…I don't think that's a good idea, Fai…" I muttered, looking over my shoulder at him, meeting his gaze for the first time in forever it seemed. "I can't lose you. You heard what the doctor said, right? You could die…_**die**_. Don't put me through that…" I claimed his hands, giving them a squeeze, tears brimming in my eyes as I locked my gaze with his. "Please…for the love of God don't put me through that."

"Kurogane…" Fai looked alarmed by my reaction although his expression softened to a strange understanding look. "Please…this is our child…_**our **_baby. I could finally give you what you want…"

"What I want is you," I interrupted him, my voice rising. "I've waited all my life for you and I've only just recently known! I've had you for such little time…I haven't done anything with you yet…I'm not ready to give up on everything we can do. I mean, we can adopt! Fai we can adopt if you want kids that badly. But I can't put you in risk…I can't let you die and I'm not going to let you. This baby is mine too…and I don't think…I don't think I could love it if I knew it was the reason you weren't here…" I placed my hand on his stomach, a spark of electricity fizzing through my veins, leaving my fingertips tingling. My teardrops fell onto his stomach as I squeezed my eyes shut, bowing my head. "I can't live without you, you idiot!"

"Kurogane…" Fai murmured, and I felt his hands cup my cheeks, forcing me gently to raise my head. He scanned my eyes and then we kissed. I felt like I was losing him right now…I knew with all of my heart he wouldn't give the baby away…I knew with all my being that he wasn't going to kill his child. Fai was going to keep this baby…whether I liked it or not. I felt like, I was giving him the final kiss, the kiss before he slipped away from me and I could do nothing but watch him fall before my eyes. Fai's life, it seemed, was now the hands on a clock…a clock that was years fast. It was way too soon, too soon for him to even consider giving his life away…

A life…doesn't equal another…all of my dreams…shattered at that moment. The way I'd thought ahead…it seemed almost pointless, a waste of my time. To even have dreamed about celebrating our first year together…to even have imagined how I would treat him on his birthday, how I would hold him when Sakura and Syaoran left, what we'd do when we went to the kids' wedding…those two were bound to elope someday. I could almost imagine it now, Fai forcing me into a tux, his loving gaze as he looked up at me, as if to say this would be us someday…and then it would be…just him and me…standing at the alter swearing our undying love. Undying…if only Fai's life was undying…

_**When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful  
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart  
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears  
And when she was happy, so was I, when she loved me.**_

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all  
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be  
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her  
And I knew that she loved me.


	5. 生命の生命するべき正しいことは何であるか

_**I was really happy when I uploaded the most recent chapter and found that people actually liked my twist! When I was writing it, I knew it was something I wanted but I wasn't sure if you guys as my readers would. I was worried about spoiling it, and if no one liked it I would immediately change it to suit them. But thank you all so much for your comments! I was thrilled to see I'd shocked some of you and that you were pleased with the twist. Also, someone asked me what the song lyrics I wrote at the end of the last chapter were from. It's from a song called "When She Loved Me", a beautiful song by **__**Sarah McLachlan. The song is very close to my heart and is one of my top favourites; I had it on a loop whilst writing the last chapter. I was on the verge of tears as I put myself in Kurogane's shoes. This chapter is called: "**__**生命の生命**__**-**__**するべき正しいことは何であるか" **__**which means: "A Life for A Life – What is the right thing to do?" Will Fai decide to keep the baby in the end or will he do as Kurogane wishes? What will Kurogane and Syaoran find at the temple? Found out in today's chapter.**_

**Fai's P****OV**

For the first time in my life, I welcomed the pain I was feeling in my entire body…I actually welcomed it. The pain was my baby…mine and Kurogane's baby. I never dreamed of having a child, not in a million years. Either I was convinced I'd never find someone or we'd be too busy to have a child. Well, or I'd be in a same sex relationship where having a baby was near enough impossible. But now, I was having a child. And it was my own. It was in my stomach and I was keeping it alive, without me it wouldn't be here. I brushed my fingertips over my flat abdomen, puckering my lips slightly since there was no hint of a bump there right now.

"Are you sure…this is what you want to do, wizard?"

I flinched a little at the sound of his voice at first since I didn't expect it but I slowly relaxed, turning my head to see his head still resting on my shoulder where it'd been all night. I smiled faintly at him and rested my cheek on the top of his head, closing my eyes.

"Yes…I guess so…" I murmured, kissing his hair when I felt his body stiffen next to mine.

"I don't want you to," Kurogane said after a pause. I stifled a giggle since he sounded so childish right now. I realised how serious he was, how serious this entire situation was. I knew the risk. It wasn't as if I'd gone deaf when the doctor had said that…but I guess I wasn't really focusing on that. I was focusing on the fact I was pregnant…the one thing I couldn't stop thinking about. It seemed to outweigh the fact it was highly unlikely I would ever actually _**see **_this baby.

"I know you don't, Kuro-frown," I whispered, struggling to find the right words so he wouldn't storm out of the room and leave me alone. I didn't want to be alone. I really wanted Kurogane to be happy _**with **_me…I wanted him to suddenly put his hands to my stomach and cry with joy, not focusing on the negatives, just focus on the blessing we have…we conceived a baby…

"Don't even bother calling me nicknames right now, Fai," Kurogane snapped quietly, straightening up to cross his arms around his chest, head bowed a little as if in thought. "Don't think nicknames will make me feel better. It doesn't change the fact that you could die having this thing. You know that, right?"

I narrowed my eyes. Why couldn't Kurogane be happy with me? Didn't he care at all for this child? This child that was inside of me right now? This baby…I hadn't even met him/her yet…but…I loved them…more than anything. I wanted to protect them; I didn't want anyone taking them away from me. It was mine. I wanted to be a parent. I never really thought about it before, in fact, if someone had asked me if I ever intended on having kids I would've said no straight away. I just never thought it was something I wanted; I assumed I'd always be too busy to raise a family. I just never thought I needed it. But when the doctor told me I was pregnant, it seemed like all of those times I'd told myself I'd never want kids, I felt like it'd been nothing but a lie. I wanted children…and now I was having one. I didn't care if I never got to see it. It was mine and would always be mine, and if I died I prayed with all my being that Kurogane would care for it.

Kurogane looked down at me, a softer touch in his gaze as he reached down, touching my cheek. My eyes widened a little but I smiled warmly almost immediately, holding his hand there.

"Fai, I don't want to lose you," he breathed, shaking his head slightly, sighing deeply, and slouching a little. "If I lost you, I'd have to go after you. I made a vow, the day I saw you close to death. I swore that if you ever died, I'd go after you and join you, 'cos I wouldn't want to breathe or wake up in the morning, knowing I wouldn't see your goofy smile or hear your voice. Those are the things that make my day, you know that? If I didn't have that, I would never be able to smile again or even love again. I would rather live alone with my memories of you, waiting for death, than living a life with someone else."

Kurogane's words made my heart turn light, like it was filled with helium and was floating around in my chest. Boiling heat rushed to my face, making me look away. It wasn't very often you heard Big Dog talk that way, but when he did it made me turn alarmingly red. I felt like I was on the clouds, never having to go back down to reality. All those worries that people have, like death, not finding that special someone, running out of money…I didn't need to worry about any of that when he spoke to me like that. I wished everyone else could hear him talk like this, but I guess he wouldn't since he would probably get teased by Mokona and Yuuko. I also liked the fact only I could hear them…it made me feel extra special.

"Big Dog," I smiled up at him, tilting my head to one side. "You really are a big softie sometimes. You sure do know how to make a girl blush!"

Kurogane smirked a little, leaning in closer to my face. "I don't want to make girls blush, you dope," he purred, kissing the tip of my nose, making me wrinkle it and close my eyes. "I only want you. A man. You understand me? I could never hate you…" he exhaled. "Even if you decide to keep this baby I wouldn't hate you. I'd carry on loving you, even if you leave me, even if you stay by my side and raise our child together. In all honesty, I do want this…" he touched my tummy lightly, stroking it tenderly with his thumb. "But not at the cost of your life."

I felt my lids drop as he continued to stroke me. It felt amazing. I relaxed a little for the first time it seemed in quite a long time, the pain seeming to ebb away with every movement of his thumb. I smiled a little as I opened my eyes reluctantly, gazing into his.

"You know…this means no sex for 9 months," I teased, giggling when his face turned into a tomato.

"I-I…urgh you're so predictable, mage!" Kurogane looked taken aback, dropping his hand from my cheek, the movements of his fingers on my abdomen halting completely.

"Well, it'll be hard on me too, Kuro-perv," I sighed, touching his hot cheek. "You look so delicious right now as well. Like a pretty little strawberry."

"Strawberry?" Kurogane mumbled grudgingly. "You do realise you're talking to a warrior right? Can't I be something tough for once? Instead of a stupid fruit."

"But you are a fruit silly," I laughed, winking at him.

I liked it like this…the way he'd throw a fit but he never hit me, he never really lost his temper with me. He playfully sulked from time to time but he always wound up standing by my side again. It was like this even before we became lovers. We'd always sit next to one another or pair off together. It was just…it just felt right. No matter where we went or what we were actually doing, we somehow managed to be standing next to one another, even if he insisted he hated my guts. It was funny, hearing him say he loved me after all those times he'd insisted something quite the opposite…

**Sakura's POV**

Fai-san and Kurogane-san were taking the day off today and Syaoran-kun looked so down…I just wanted to help everybody. I truly did. I knew it was difficult. We'd only just found out about Fai-san's pregnancy and he and Kurogane-san had so much to talk about, it was almost taboo to ask them to look for my feather. Although Syaoran-kun longed to go looking for it today, he took up on reading and re-reading those books that Fai-san had checked out from the local library only a day or so ago. I guess I've lost count of the days; everything's just taken such a strange turn. This world still felt strange…and Mokona-chan was still unhappy with the atmosphere. So, naturally, I wanted to help everybody. I knew we'd have to learn as much as possible about this world so Mokona-chan and I headed out to the local library for Syaoran-kun. He was getting so frustrated reading through everything over and over and not finding anything; I think he was on the verge of giving up on this world for good. He wasn't finding anything and he was almost convinced that no feather was in this world…although the strange energy was still lingering, urging him in a silent way to not give up.

"Its rain, rain, raining!" Mokona wailed, snuggling even more into my chest.

"Yeah…" I murmured. I wasn't really focusing or listening to him. I just put up the umbrella and headed out, ignoring the cold, ignoring the very few people walking past me, ignoring Mokona-chan's words as well. I just couldn't pay attention…something was wrong. I guess if anything I was worried. I was worried about Fai-san and Kurogane-san; I was worried about Syaoran-kun as well. It felt like, now, everything was slowly falling apart. Before, everything was full speed ahead but now it was slowing down, almost at a complete stop. It was as if, Kurogane-san and Fai-san's stop had finally come in view and they were getting off soon, leaving Syaoran-kun, Mokona-chan and I alone to complete the journey. They were going to have a baby…they couldn't really bring a baby with us…could they? Would they want to? Or would they want to settle down? Find a completely new world and raise the child there? Living a completely normal life…without us…

"Sakura! Sakura!"

I snapped out of my daydream as Mokona-chan's voice got louder and louder. I blinked and looked to my right, my eyes drifting upwards to take in the entire building.

"The library is here, it's here!" Mokona-chan chirped, waving his arms up and down. "Let's go inside out of the rain!"

I nodded before putting down my umbrella, walking into the building. As usual, no one was really there. Just the person at the desk, whom looked completely dazed as they stared blankly into the distance, not even regarding me in any shape or form. I could hear my footsteps echo all around me; they seemed to follow me as I headed into the main hall where all the books were. There were over sixteen long wooden tables set out for people to sit down to read although they remained totally unoccupied. Mokona-chan's ears went down.

"Something feels strange, strange, strange!" he mumbled. "I don't like this energy…"

"We'll just get the books and go, Mokona-chan," I assured him softly, setting him down gently onto one of the tables as I began to scan the section names. "We didn't come all of this way for nothing now, did we? Ah!" I spotted the "_**religion**_" section and flew over to it, touching the creaky old binds, scanning the titles. I picked up one, flicking through to the contents. I scanned the chapters, pausing as my finger came to a chapter reading as: "_**Καλυμμένος ενός**_". I frowned a little. The sounding of the word wouldn't come to me…it seemed…almost unpronounceable. I glanced over my shoulder to look at Mokona-chan.

"Um…Mokona-chan?" I called, my voice bouncing off of the walls. "Can you pronounce this word for me?" I walked over to him, taking a seat at the table and pointed to the word. He frowned a little, putting a paw to his mouth.

"Erm…eh…uh…oh…ekh…ah…oh maybe…" he muttered for a while before sighing deeply, ears drooping as he shook his head. "Nope, sorry, Sakura-chan. That word is really hard to pronounce."

I furrowed my brow a little. "It…it looks familiar…if that's even possible…" I breathed, turning to the page. "I just…I can't shake this feeling…"

This was a little strange…the word…it looked familiar. But no matter how hard I tried in my head, I couldn't exactly decide how I would pronounce it. I wanted to pronounce it so I could link it…see if it rung any bells and if I'd heard it before. I turned to page 155 and found it. The title was there in bold, with a very ancient painting of a woman. The painting had a pale woman with eyes, eyes black like pits. I touched it lightly, chewing my bottom lip hard. Something made me feel uneasy about this painting.

"Mokona-chan," I whispered, pressing my finger down harder on the painting. "Do you remember the name of the city?"

Mokona-chan looked puzzled. "Um…I think it was…Μάσκα…I remember 'coz it sounded like my name!"

"Do you know…what it means?" I asked, turning my face slightly to look at him.

He shook his head. "But there's bound to be a dictionary in this place, right?"

I wasn't a hundred percent certain why I was so determined to find out the name of the city. In fact, a part of me urged me on to focus on that weird chapter name, but the other part of me insisted that this was going to help us understand this entire situation a lot more. I found this massive old dictionary and slammed it down on the table, nearly ripping pages as I tore through it, scanning frantically for the letter M. Everything in this Dictionary was in a weird language, it was like there were loads of words but they were from completely different languages. Some of it looked Greek, others looked Portuguese, and some looked Japanese or French. Although all of the translations were in English.

"This country has a lot of languages!" Mokona-chan remarked, looking like he was slowly understanding why I was asking for the name of the city.

"It can't be right though," I replied, touching my chin. "Their language seems completely jumbled up. Some of their words are from one country and the rest from completely opposite countries. How on earth can they understand one another?"

"But…but that girl, Alto…umm…" he put his paw to his mouth. "Um…Alto…falan…ah! Altofalante!"

"You mean our guide?" I asked, tilting my head to one side, trying to get everything together.

"Yes, she spoke fluent English, remember?" Mokona-chan seemed pleased by remembering this.

That was right…she'd spoken almost perfect English. But no one in this country seemed to know it…they just seemed to take it all in. When we ordered at the restaurant…we went up to them and ordered…they just did it. They didn't ask if we needed anything else, they hadn't asked for money even. Syaoran-kun had to leave it all on the desk…this country didn't seem to have many tourists either so maybe they were unsure about the language. But still, why was Altofalante the only one who seemed to speak our language?

Then it hit me. "The doctor…" I said slowly. "The doctor that checked on Fai-san…he spoke fluent English too…"

Mokona-chan nodded. So two people in this entire world spoke English, and those people were those who were a guide and a doctor. A doctor would usually know many languages to help his patients from different worlds and different languages…

"But Mokona translates everything they say anyway," Mokona-chan mumbled. I blinked and stared at him. He blushed before continuing. "Well, you, Syaoran-kun, Fai-mommy and Kuro-daddy come from entirely different worlds. You and Syaoran speak a completely different language from Fai and Kuro-pon. The only reason you can understand each other is because I'm around!" he looked extremely pleased with this, especially since the look on my face.

"So maybe, the doctor and Altofalante _**don't **_speak our language…but still…what's going on with the languages in this world? We've never really spoken to anyone other than the doctor and the guide…this just gets weirder and weird, Mokona-chan…" I trailed off as my finger halted at the word I'd been searching for vigorously for. Μάσκα. I moved my finger across from the word to the translation. There was only one word there.

"Mask?" I frowned a little. "The name of this world means mask. That's a bit of a strange na…" I drifted off again. "Maybe they have the name of that Goddess in here…"

I glanced at the other book quickly and began looking it all up, writing it all down with a very old pen with very little ink. Mokona-chan pointed out words to me.

It literally meant "covered". I frowned and felt even more lost than ever. I nearly threw the book right off of the table right there and then…I felt so silly, looking through these books as if there was a conspiracy…

"Sakura-chan," Mokona-chan said suddenly. "Put the name of the city and the goddess together."

"Covered mask?" I frowned a little. "But what does that mean?"

"Well, what's another word for mask?" Mokona-chan pressed, his voice suddenly turning serious.

"Um…" I ran through all of the words. Mask, disguise, and cover up, masquerade…I froze. Masquerade?

Mokona-chan nodded as he saw that I got it. "Masquerade…she attacked Fai-san and Kurogane-san not that long ago…"

"So…in the story…the "fake one" is…Fai-san?" I stared up at Mokona-chan. "But that was years ago…"

"But remember in that world? The one where we met Chu'Nyan? The lord had the feather years before we came along although you only lost your feather a few days ago!"

I looked down back at the book, staring at the painting of the goddess. Maybe this was all just a coincidence…maybe the goddess had nothing to do with the witch Masquerade. But it was strange…the languages were mixed, although the main language here seemed to be Greek and that witch had spoken in a strange language…and those creatures…they all seemed to have the same language. And everyone in this world had solemn faces…didn't those creatures… Kreatūra I think they were called, which basically meant creature in Greek. That seemed to be the main language here and her language. Fai-san…he faked so many smiles sometimes…I could tell he was sad. Mokona-chan would mumble sometimes that Fai-san was upset…but still he would smile. So Masquerade would call him "the fake one". And those plagues she inflicted upon this world…could they possibly have been her Kreatūra? The grass where they stood seemed to die under their touch…and the weather was dreary here…it was raining pretty much all of the time. And the goddess had mentioned that "the fake one" was her enemy…

I gathered the books. "We'll tell Syaoran-kun right now," I said lowly, just in case anyone was listening.

I didn't get very far though…I turned around to come face to face with a figure dressed entirely in black, face shrouded in shadow. I gasped. His face…it was familiar…but before I could say anything, all I could see was blackness and I didn't feel or hear anything else, apart from Mokona-chan screaming my name…

_**To Be Continued…**_

_**I had to add in Sakura's POV to get this chapter done, although I don't think her POV will return throughout the rest of the book. It was really hard translating everything and I apologize if I got any of the translations wrong. I'm sorry if this chapter was confusing too. I had been struggling to write for ages. I was sick for a few days, and also had some things to finish such as my video for YouTube and catching up with my anime. I've kind of neglected any new series for quite a while but recently I've been really getting into "Soul Eater" so I might write that Fan Fiction next. Also, I'm also doing requests right now but I must know the anime and be a fan of the characters. I am already doing one request, which was by my girlfriend, for a Yuri Fan Fiction. So expect that soon.**_

_**Sorry for any spelling mistakes in this one too!!! Gah. I touch type so I don't really look at the letters. Please review and I'm really sorry for the slowness of updating. I am really happy people are enjoying this so far!!!**_

_**Next chapter: **_ "逃すこと! 事は別の回転を取る…", _**which means "Missing! Things Take A Different Turn…" I hope to update this very soon and please let me know what you think. See you then!!!**_

_**PS. Just to clarify, Fai is keeping the baby. **_


	6. “逃すこと! 事は別の回転を取る”,

_**Firstly, I apologize for the delay of this chapter. I've been extremely busy since I've been writing my own manga with my own characters. My grandfather has just had his own book published and is helping me out with my writing. I have had my own story in planning for nearly an entire year now, since around November. It's developed so much and I have an artist working as my illustrator. I basically write the basic outline of my story, the plot etc and my artist draws it for me. The first volume is nearly complete so most of my focus will be on that and getting that done. But I tore myself away from that and began writing this chapter. I'm sorry for the delay and I hope you enjoy this!!! Doodle.**__** The song I recommend for reading this part (Kurogane's part) is "With or Without You" by U2. It really helped me get into Kurogane's feelings.**_

**Kurogane's POV**

No matter how hard Fai tried to sugar coat this situation I still felt a heavy weight in my chest. My arms refused to become unwound from his waist. It felt like that if it did, I would lose him within a second of letting him go. This newfound fear forbade me from ever letting him out of my sight, which seemed to amuse him much to my dismay as he declared that he needed the shower almost immediately after it became clear I wasn't going to let him go.

"I really need one, Kuro-bear!!!" he whined, looking up into my eyes, his lips sticking out slightly in a childish pout.

"Wizard, you had one last night," I growled, a dull throb starting to awaken in my temples. "You smell completely fine." I pressed my lips to his hair, inhaling his fragrance to find it as sweet as ever.

"It's not about _**smelling **_fine, Kuro-scruff," Fai insisted, his voice getting higher, dragging out every single word like a child did to emphasise their point. "It's about hygiene. I need to get showered. You can go days without one but me…"

I didn't let him finish. I picked him up and carried him into the bathroom, him kicking and struggling in my arms. If it wasn't for my iron grip on him, he would've slid right from my arms and onto the floor into a large heap. I was extra careful not to apply pressure to his stomach. I kept telling myself it was because his stomach was still bruised from the Ashura incident, but an icy pang kicking me in my gut screamed that it was due to our baby in his tummy, our child…

"Kuroooo-bruuute!" Fai cried out. I ignored him, holding him up with one arm whilst I turned on the shower. "Quit man handling me! This is becoming a terrible habit of yours, Mr. Man!"

"You wanted a shower, so you're getting one, mage," I replied flatly, testing the water first with my hand. I adjusted it until it was lukewarm, just the way Fai seemed to like it. I set him down and began to undress him. His cheeks turned an alarming red.

"H-h-hey! We can't do anything, Kuro-touchy, I'm preg…" I didn't want to hear the last word. That word for some reason stirred cold, dismal emotions within me. I'd numbed them, numbed them so I wouldn't feel them. I knew they were there though, sitting in the depths of my heart, seeping through, threatening to arise to my conscious state. I didn't want them to yet…not yet. I was…I was too tired to feel that right now…I pressed my lips to his, stealing his breath to refresh my own lungs, keeping my eyes onto his face. His eyes closed almost a millisecond before our lips even met, inhaling a sharp breath.

I continued to rid him of his clothes, my lips remaining to his to prevent him from talking right now, to stop him from saying that word that would cause my heart to ache. When he was completely naked, I began to get mine off. I didn't want to have to unwind my arms, and I resented that comment he made about me going days without showering so I might as well. This seemed to be as intimate as we were going to be for a long time. I mean, who knew when a bump would come between us, a bump representing our baby getting closer to being born. Representing how little time I had left until Fai might be taken away from me.

I didn't break the kiss even as I lifted him up in my arms, clambering into the shower. The water trickled down my back, causing me to shiver. Fai's body became slick and smoother with the water, his blond hair dripping droplets of water, plastered against his perfect face. I broke the kiss for air, my head feeling heavy as I rested my chin on his shoulder, my arms locking around his waist as the water beat down on us.

"Jeez, Kuro-wet," Fai sighed, his chest rising frantically as he panted to quench his parched lungs, his chest touching mine every time in inhaled oxygen. "Are we going to do this _**every **_day?"

"Depends," I muttered, kissing his shoulder. "Depends on if I can bear to let you go long enough for you to shower by yourself."

"Well, I hope you can't let me go," Fai whispered, tilting his head back against the wall. "'Cos it's really nice sharing a shower with you. Even in our private moments…I want you there…"

I raised an eyebrow, pulling away slightly to look at his face. "I am _**not **_sitting in here every time you need the bathroom. You can do that yourself. I'll just wait outside the door while you do that."

Fai smiled at me, the droplets sparkling against his skin. I cradled the back of his head and brought him closer, kissing his forehead. As we embraced, all I could think about was the doctor's words. They were refreshed and just as sharp, just as painful as before.

"_**Well, the reason Mr. D. Fluorite's body is under so much pain…is because his body is adjusting for the baby…**_"

"_**It would be extremely dangerous for both you and the child. If you decide to keep the child, there is a high possibility neither of you will survive."**_

"Kuro-pon…" Fai said, breaking into my thoughts, the memories shattering like glass to reveal the image of reality behind it, the image being Fai's face peering up nervously at me. "You're tense. Are you okay?"

I felt suddenly angry. Was _**I **_okay? What sort of stupid question was that??? Who cared if I was okay? Who cared if I was enduring extreme physical pain? It was nothing compared to the intense pain I was feeling inside. I only cared…about him…

I pressed my hand against the wet tiled wall behind him right above his head, looking down at him with my other hand cupping his right cheek. I brushed my thumb over the now faded bruise under his eye. Fai looked confused but he didn't speak, he just watched me as if he was studying my profile to try to find some form of emotion on my face that would reveal how I was feeling right now, to explain why I was acting this way.

"You're in pain, you dunce," I said quietly but I knew he heard me since his eyes flashed a little. "And it's 'cos of me that you're in pain. It's 'cos of me that you're…" Fai narrowed his eyes, his brow creasing slightly. I suppressed a sigh, knowing what I said would offend him and cause him to lose his temper. I didn't want that…I didn't want a lot of things but I certainly detested the very idea of Fai being angry with me. I pressed my forehead against his, closing my eyes, the tips of our noses touching lightly as I sighed freely against his lips. "Tell me if you're in pain…" I murmured. "'Cos I'll carry you…I'll touch the place you're hurting and soothe it as best as I can, I'll let you squeeze my hand as tightly as you want. Until my bones break if it helps…I will wipe the sweat from your brow…if I could, I would take it all away and be the one like this. You know I would trade any day…just to prevent you from hurting, so I never see that pain in your face…"

"Kurogane…" Fai breathed, kissing my lips lightly. I kissed him back, smoothing my hand backwards from his cheek to run through his hair, pushing his wet bangs from his face. I gave him a shaky smile when the kiss ended, turning off the shower so we were standing there, me before him as he leaned against the wall, the pair of us standing there naked and dripping wet. I knew just by gazing into his eyes, this would be a moment I would always remember. A moment I would turn to in a moment of darkness and grief, a moment I would always hold onto to keep me feel somewhat human, to keep me somewhat sane. If I ever lost Fai, a moment such as this would help me remember, would help me keep all of this alive…

* * * *

Fai was sitting on our bed in just his trousers as I knelt before him, drying his hair off for him with a towel, his head bowed as I dried him when Syaoran entered the room. He looked slightly flushed as he saw us. I was completely dressed, but I guess Fai being topless made him a little uneasy. It wasn't as if Fai was a woman or had anything he needed to cover, but I guess it was just how intimate we were acting towards one another. I expected the furball to start singing about it and teasing me. But Mokona wasn't there…

"What's wrong, kid?" I asked, knowing something wasn't right. I straightened up, putting the towel aside.

"The Princess…she's gone…" Syaoran choked; a strange shine to his eyes. It took me a moment to realize he was restraining tears, tears that desperately wanted to cascade down his face.

"What do you mean gone?" I repeated, frowning slightly.

"Didn't she go out with Mokona for a walk?" Fai asked, just as confused as me.

"Yeah but…they haven't…" Syaoran couldn't carry on. I was stunned. Syaoran was crying? I blinked, feeling completely useless. I had no idea what to do. Fai didn't think twice as he rose, hugging the kid close. Syaoran just seemed to fall into his arms, allowing those tears he'd struggled to restrain sliding down his cheeks rapidly.

I felt a small twist in my stomach as I realized hastily how Fai was already in tune with his parenting skills. Here was me, sitting on the bed, looking like I didn't know night from day and there was him, being supportive and loving. I mentally slapped my forehead.

"How long ago did she go out?" I grumbled, refusing to look up, keeping my eyes trained to the floor.

"It was around two hours ago," Syaoran hiccoughed, looking just as shocked as I did that he was crying. He roughly rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, breaking the hug between himself and Fai. "I don't know where she went…I'm…sorry…Fai…"

"What for?" Fai blinked, tilting his head to one side as he peered at the smaller and younger boy. He didn't even wait for a reply. "Look, you go get your coat. Kuro-soft and me will come with you." I perked up a little at this point. It wasn't due to the fact that Fai had arranged for me to go hunting in the pouring rain without my consent. In fact, I couldn't care less about that.

Syaoran nodded briskly and made a hasty escape, rubbing his eyes furiously with his arm. Silence filled the empty space from where the kid once stood. Fai inhaled softly before turning his head to glance over his shoulder me, a wry smile pulling at his lips.

"Kuro-bear, can you fetch my coat for me?" he asked, closing his eyes as his smile grew wider.

I didn't move an inch. He opened his eyes when he heard no movement and his brow creased slightly, puzzled. He shrugged to himself, taking it that I was in a sulk or I thought that he should get his own damned coat. Fai moved to get his coat from the small wardrobe when I reached out, my fingers locking around his slender wrist, almost like a handcuff, as I held him still. I didn't look into his eyes until a few moments of silence, slowly turning my head upwards to meet his gaze. His dazzling blue eyes looked completely lost, his lips parted as if he was struggling to find the right words to say.

"W-what is it, Kuro…" he started but I broke him off before he could add an embarrassing word to the end of my name. I rose to my feet, looking straight down at him before turning him round completely to look at him. With my free hand, I reached out and brushed my fingertips along his stomach. His eyes widened. It seemed to click then. In all honesty, I wasn't acting protective over our child. That wasn't the case. I was acting protective over my lover. Fai was weak and I could see it. The doctor had said he'd be in pain as his body adjusted to the baby.

"You're staying here, wizard," I grumbled, feeling my palms go clammy from the smallest brush of my fingertips against his pregnant stomach. It didn't show just yet, the fact he was pregnant I mean, but I felt it. I felt it there as I touched him and it made a strange emotion develop within my being. Most fathers I guess would feel a surge of joy; that he was going to be a doting father, a father that he'd always wanted growing up. And trust me; I did want to be the father I never had to my own child…but not at the cost of my loved one's life. With a mere touch of his stomach, I felt anger boil within me. Anger at myself, a deep jolt of regret of ever making love to him. I would always feel a pang of guilt, knowing I was involved in my lover's death although it wasn't intentional or wanted. If I'd have known, I'd have never had sex with Fai. I wouldn't have given into my instincts; I wouldn't have been taken over by his tender kisses all over my tingling skin that seemed to feed off of the sensations.

Fai seemed to get the wrong message as he smiled warmly at me. "Kuro-daddy is worried about the baby and me…" he chuckled slightly to himself. I wanted to say that he was wrong but couldn't bring myself to; seeing the happiness light up in his eyes…I couldn't take that away. "Well, he needn't be worried," Fai continued, claiming my free hand with his and intertwining our fingers. "I doubt it's anything dangerous."

"Idiot, of course it's something dangerous," I tried to lower my voice so Syaoran wouldn't overhear but found it hard to restrain myself. "Sakura is missing. She and the rice ball have been gone for two hours. And you remember how much the cream ball whines when he gets wet. No way would they stay out in the rain that long…"

"What are you suggesting, Kurogane?" Fai replied, his grip on my hand slackening, his fingers turning limp as if ready to drop my hand at any moment. I pressed my fingertips against his skin subconsciously. "That I just lie around here and do nothing while you and Syaoran go out to fight? Just because I'm preg-"

"Don't say it," I pleaded under my breath although he heard perfectly well.

"Why do you have such an issue with me being pregnant?" Fai demanded, his voice raising now as his hold on my hand completely vanished although I struggled to hold onto him. "Even the word makes you go pale. Don't you love our baby???"

"I love _**you, **_Fai! I couldn't possibly love anything…or _**anyone **_who took your life away!"

"So what you're saying is, if I die you're not going to care for our child? Our baby that we made together? The baby that is yours and mine. Why can't you just accept it?"

"'Coz I love you too much, you idiot!"

"If you loved me, you'd want what I want!"

"I don't want you to die giving birth to our baby, Fai. Can't we wait a while longer until we're ready? Until we've done everything together?"

"So you just want me to give up our child? How can you ask that of me?"

"How can you ask me to live without you???" I felt defiant tears prickle in my eyes. Fai's eyes were brimming with tears as he struggled to snatch his hand from my own, but I didn't want to let him go.

"We don't have time to do everything together, Kurogane. We only have the time available, and one of the things I want to do with you is raise a family! We won't have to adopt! It's our baby! It has both of us in there…it'll be ours and…you'll love him or her when they are born…I _**know **_you will!"

I felt his fingertips press against the skin of my hand once more, as if he too was scared of losing me at that moment. We stood there in absolute silence, just staring into one another's eyes. I kissed his cheek and sighed heavily. I wasn't 100% thrilled with how this all turned out…I reluctantly allowed him to come with us and we silently agreed to not speak about the baby situation again until a later date. I hoped that my words had struck a cord somewhere…although the idea of him undergoing the distress of getting rid of our baby hurt me the most…

_**A chapter merely echoing Kurogane and Fai's fears and feelings about having a child. I was very reluctant to end this chapter but I did so that the baby can be kind of put aside for the time being for the next few chapters when the action comes in and all is revealed. Like where Sakura is and what will happen to our heroes. And also, what will happen to Fai and the baby? Will Kurogane's words sink in? Will they keep the baby for definite and will they be happy with their choice? Find out in the next few chapters of **_それから夜明けは来る. _**Enjoy! And I shall be updating more often.**_

_**Next Chapter: **_戦い! 明らかにされる-マスクは砕ける _**(translates as: Fight! Revealed – The Mask Crumbles). **_


	7. 戦い! 明らかにされるマスクは砕ける

_**I haven't been uploading recently; and that is due to numerous reasons, most personal and private. I was very sick for a while and found no inspiration; I've hardly watched much Tsubasa Chronicles since so I wasn't enthusiastic or full of ideas waiting to burst when I sat down at my computer to write. If anything, I've just been avoiding writing. I uploaded a fan fiction and it didn't get much reviews or anything, so I received a slight blow due to the fact that I was anxious that once I had written "Avant Ce Soir" that no one would read my works. A lot of relationship issues have taken place and writing about romance made my heart ache. So I'm so very sorry for the slow update, I will be writing a lot quicker these days. Thanks for reading. **_

_**Song recommendation: Leave Out All the Rest – Linkin Park **_

**Fai's POV**

It felt like weeks while we were searching. A sleepless and restless occasion, upon which all of us remained heavily silent. Syaoran was becoming more and more distressed by each passing minute; his pace was quickened so it was almost impossible to keep up with him. I understood how he felt; my heart began to pump faster and I subconsciously squeezed Kurogane's hand. He cast me a nervous glance, giving me a faint half smile that didn't touch his eyes. The rain started to pound down and it was getting to the point when the rain was soaking through my clothes and chilling my skin to the point when it actually hurt. The coldness was hard and bitter, like it was sharp fingers pinching me. It became clear that Syaoran wasn't thinking straight.

"Hey, kid, calm down will you?" Kurogane barked, having said this several times already but none of them loud enough for Syaoran to hear since he was so busy racing around.

Syaoran flinched at the sound of Kurogane's voice, his brown eyes slowly meeting ours. He was panting deeply, his clothes pressed against his skin, looking over ten shades darker, his hair plastered against his forehead. He was shivering from the cold. It was almost as if he was only now becoming aware of things as he hugged his arms to himself to shield himself from the chilling winds.

"Look, you're getting yourself nowhere acting like this," Kurogane continued after he was sure that he had Syaoran's full attention. "Fai and I can't keep chasing after you while you tear up the entire town looking for the Princess and the rice ball. Why don't you get yourself back to the hotel? You _**and **_Fai." His eyes moved to me, emphasising the word 'and' to make sure I understood too. I narrowed my eyes defiantly. He looked away back to Syaoran. "I'll have one more look around and I'll let you know if I find anything," he added swiftly.

Syaoran's gaze only hardened, his hands dropping to his side as if to show us he didn't care that he was cold. His lips were pressed into a thin line, not saying a word. Kurogane didn't look away, and his jaw began to clench. It didn't take much to get Kurogane angry but the last thing we needed was a fight.

"You know we can't do that, Kuro-puu," I said softly, surprising both Syaoran and Kurogane. "I'm not leaving you out in this, and I'm certain Syaoran doesn't want to take the backseat while you look for his Princess. I mean," I smiled wryly at him. "You'd do the same for me, right?"

Kurogane's cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink and he smirked slightly. I knew by that smirk that he agreed. Syaoran understood also and turned his back on us as he began to walk forward.

"You're such a softy," I giggled, as we slowly began to follow, tilting my head upwards to look at him.

"Shut it, wizard," Kurogane growled, although it wasn't in a menacing manner. He buried his hands deep into his pockets, shaking his black hair free of the heavy raindrops that clung to him.

It felt like it was happening in an instant. I was walking next to Kurogane then the next moment, something stole my breath. My breath fell from my lips, but the inhale was stopped short, choking me. My eyes widened and I froze in my tracks. I could distantly hear Kurogane speaking to me, but his voice was muffled, almost like the sound was slowly fading into silence. His voice was almost like a groan in my ears and my heart seemed to jolt in my chest. My knees felt weak, as if my limbs had been disconnected from the joints, like my bones had dissolved causing me to sink to my knees. I faintly felt something warm and heavy on my shoulder, shaking me as if to detach me from this nightmare that felt so real. Before my eyes, I saw that face. The face of Ashura. The way his dark eyes narrowed, the way they roamed over me in the most sickening, physical manner. Instant pain flooded through my body and it felt as if hot slick blood was pouring from a wound in my arm. The way the blade in my hand plunged into Ashura, watching his eyes turn glassy like a doll's eyes, unseeing but I still felt as though they were looking directly at me. His voice echoed within my body, bouncing off of bones and muscle, rattling joints and piercing organs. A voice breathed in my ear: "_**Your death is left to me after he's finished with you…**_"

An invisible force around my throat preventing me from inhaling suddenly disappeared. I felt weak and dizzy as I slumped, holding myself with shaking arms, gulping for air like a parched man would to water. It refreshed my body and the pain was nothing but a dull memory that seemed to leave faint traces along my limbs and torso. The only place that didn't dull was my abdomen and I slowly touched it with my fingertips, squinting through the mist that seemed to cloud my vision, making everything blurry and shift in and out of place.

"...hey! Fai?"

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again; my vision had cleared, like a mist turning into a clear day. I turned my head slightly to glimpse at Kurogane, whom looked perplexed. I licked my suddenly dry lips and offered him my trembling hand. He took it, his hand as steady and strong as he kept me standing. I looked him in his eyes.

"You okay?" Kurogane asked after a moment's pause.

I nodded, although this was a lie. Kurogane looked like he was some sort of lie detector machine as his brow creased into a tiny frown when his eyes snapped up from my face past me. His eyes looked slightly alarmed. I wanted to turn round to look for myself but didn't dare too just in case I fell down again.

"What is it?" I said, growing more concerned by the second as he didn't answer me. "Kurogane?" his features looked dark and taunt, but they softened once I said his name. He returned my gaze. I raised my eyebrows a little, silently requesting that he told me what was wrong.

"The kid's gone," Kurogane informed me slowly, his tone suggesting that he was completely perplexed by this and that he wasn't sure if he believed what he was saying. I managed to look around to find he was telling the truth. There was no sign of Syaoran anywhere.

"He must've carried on without us," Kurogane muttered, partly to reassure himself rather than me. He seemed slightly shaken by the fact I'd just collapsed, the princess and Mokona were gone and now, Syaoran had vanished.

I swallowed hard as we moved forward, both of us turning our heads in every possible direction, eyes scanning the area for any sign of Syaoran. I saw no sign and I grew anxious. What had happened earlier? What was with that? I had tried for so long to force the memory of Ashura into the very corners of my minds, keeping them boarded up and blocking them out of my mind whenever I was sleeping or lying awake in the middle of the night. Sometimes, they'd seep into my consciousness and all those aches would rise against my skin where he'd touched me, where he'd hit me and where he'd forced himself. I would feel a burning sensation on my stomach, faint though. Not as strong and painful as the pains I'd just witnessed. It was almost as if my body had been shifted back in time to that moment, my body being inflicted with those wounds all over again. I'd heard a voice…that familiar voice that churned my gut…

"Hey! Kid!!!"

My mind snapped back to reality, Kurogane's raised voice startling me. I looked to where he was looking only to take a sigh with relief. Syaoran was standing at the foot of some pale grey stone steps, hands at his sides, back turned to us. It was almost like he was standing in a museum, staring at a painting that fascinated him. It took me a moment to realise that Syaoran was standing at the stairs leading up to a temple. A religious temple? Then it struck me; as I heard my own voice echoing in my ears: "_**That'd**__** be the city's temple. The world has over nine temples dotted in populated cities. But the one in this city is the**_ _**largest**_."

"The city's temple," I breathed and I felt Kurogane look at me although I didn't return it. I felt uneasy here, the air was thin and seemed to cut through me. I began to shiver, but it wasn't to do with the cold. The rain had began to die down until it was only drizzling, feeling the light gentle drops land on my skin.

"Syaoran?" I called my voice hoarse.

Instead of turning round at the sound of my voice, Syaoran began to sprint up the steps, missing steps at a time, stumbling and knocking his knees. Kurogane reacted swifter than I, bolting right after him. I shortly followed, my limbs feeling heavy. I felt like I was doing something I'd regret this feeling that twisting itself around my body. Everything was screaming for me to stop, for me to turn back round and run away from this place. A lump rose in my throat that felt like my heart, knowing I couldn't leave Kurogane or Syaoran. That Sakura and Mokona might be here…Sakura had expressed interest in this place when I'd told her about it. This temple may be the place where her feather is; maybe she went into a trance and came here, Mokona following her to ensure her safety. That seemed to be the case…up until the moment I reached the top of the stairs, panting softly as the back of my throat began to burn, my heart beating so loudly in my chest, the blood roaring in my ears.

Sakura was there…lying on the floor with Syaoran cradling her in his arms, shaking her, repeating the words: "Wake up, Princess, please wake up". Kurogane was standing a few feet away from me. I slipped my clammy hand into his, squeezing his fingers. Kurogane returned the squeeze shortly, his eyes not shifting from Sakura and Syaoran. He must be thinking the same as me…that Sakura was dead…

"Mokona…" the words fell from my heavy numb lips. "Where is he?"

"I don't know…" Kurogane murmured in reply, looking slightly grim. "He's not here I don't think. We'd have heard him by now…"

"SAKURA!!!" Syaoran's voice pierced me sharper than any blade; it made the old wound in my arm seem like nothing. I tensed up.

"_**Your death is left to me after he's finished with you…**_" the voice breathed once more, causing the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, almost like a breath against my skin. "_**I'll kill you…Fai D. Fluorite. You and your disgusting partner. Even your pathetic friends…watch them breathe their final breaths…knowing it is because they've come in contact with you. You will lose everything…watch everything and everyone you've ever loved die before your eyes…just like how I watched you kill my master**_." And image of Ashura's dead form flashed before my eyes and I finally understood. I knew…

"Masquerade…" I gasped. A gust of wind blew around me and there she was, standing before me, one hand on my shoulder, the other holding the back of my hair to keep my head tilted back, my throat at her mercy. I had no time to be shocked, her black eyes like an abyss, the abyss I would be floating in if she succeeded. I heard Kurogane shout in surprise but before he could attack, over five Kreatūra were surrounding him. I couldn't see what was happening after that, for Masquerade released my shoulder and ran her sharp long nails trace across my cheek, almost forcing me to look at her. I felt her nail cut my skin and a dribble of blood trickling down my skin. I winced, closing one of my eyes slightly; afraid to completely close them in case she took advantage of that.

Masquerade reminded me of a cat, cooing its prey, toying with it to its delight until it lost interest. I felt like a mouse locked in her claws, feeling the intense pain and wanting it to end. She'd cast me some sign of hope, hope that I would live to see another day, to tell my loved ones that I cared for them deeply, only for her to take that away by pouncing upon me again. That hope seemed so distant, so far. My baby…I became drenched in horror. I'd nearly forgotten I was carrying Kurogane's child…my child. I wanted to touch my stomach but didn't want her to see. I didn't want her to touch my stomach in any way shape or form. Not my baby…tears burned my eyes despite how hard I tried to push them away. I was reassuring myself in my mind that that wouldn't happen. I was replaying this thought in my head over and over, hoping it would somehow become reality. Oh, how I hate hope. So uncertain, so available to the heart but not to reality.

"I wondered when you would find me, Fai," she purred, pulling a little hair on the fistful of my hair that she had. "When you would serve yourself to me…you and your lover." She looked over to him, smirking. "If he doesn't cool off his foul temper, Fai, bad things will happen. Tell your lover to calm down or else."

"Kurogane…" I spluttered, before she could finish her last word. Butterflies rampaged in my gut, rising up to my chest where their beating, rapid wing movement caused my heart to clench. "Please calm down…"

He was being pinned down on the ground by the Kreatūra, shouting at them although his voice faded when I spoke.

"For me…" I added before he could protest. He was silent after that and I saw, out of the corner of my eye, the Kreatūra lifting him up to his feet, their touch burning his skin, making him hiss.

"Stop hurting him," I demanded, my voice turning frantic. "Please…they're hurting him. Let him go!"

Masquerade pulled harder on my hair, bringing me down onto my knees. My scalp stung and my eyes watered. I chewed hard on my bottom lip, glowering up at her. I never wanted to hit a woman before in my life…though I wouldn't consider her a woman, or even a human being. She was a savage monster in human form, fooling herself to believe she knows feeling, pretending that she actually feels grief for her dead master. She couldn't feel grief; she couldn't feel love or even hate. Masquerade was just an emotionless shell, in which sentiment is a meaningless echo, a dimming shadow.

"Any more outbursts, Fai darling," Masquerade said, in a cooing manner although her tone was sharp and sour. "And you'll ruin my fun. I want to enjoy this revenge, not rush it."

"What did you do to Sakura???" Syaoran's tormented voice reached my ears. I'd nearly forgotten he was there. It was apparent that Masquerade did also since she turned her head slightly ajar and showed little interest in the boy.

"Oh, you're here?" she asked, with a dim hint of recognition. "I remember you. And your darling princess. Of course, it didn't take long to recognize her and Yuuko's rodent. She's merely asleep. Try shaking her all you want, my dear boy. She won't wake." She gave a bitter short laugh as the color drained from his face. "Why don't you try giving her a kiss? True love's kiss? Pathetic child…I really have no use for you." She flicked her index finger, her invisible force knocking Syaoran flying back into a wall, rendering him unconscious.

"Syaoran!" a high pitched voice cried, which I recognized as Mokona's.

Mokona was here? I felt my stomach lurch. Mokona's mere presence was meant to turn Masquerade weak…why was she so powerful? So powerful that she could withstand being in the same room as him? It dawned on me the moment I thought that.

"Sakura's feather…" I exclaimed, my eyes widening. "_**You **_have Sakura's feather? You're…you're that goddess…"

"So very nice you think so," Masquerade leered, her pitch black eyes now turning on me. "I needed a lot of power. These fools gave it to me. It took a lot of my energy, performing all of those 'natural' disasters but I was rewarded. A feather fell upon me and I felt this energy surge through me. I knew it was what you'd been looking for…and I knew you would someday come to this world looking for it. Time just flew by, didn't it, Fai?"

Masquerade had the feather…she had it all along…we'd have to come face to face with her someday. No matter how many worlds we travelled to, no matter how long it took or how many feathers we'd find along the way. We'd have to meet Masquerade…and when that happened, she'd be more powerful than any of us. More powerful than me, more powerful than Kurogane or Syaoran…more powerful than Yuuko herself…

_**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next won't be so long away. Please check out my other fan fictions and let me know what you think. **_

_**What will go down between Fai and Masquerade? Who will be the victor? What will be the outcome and who will lose their life? Find out in the next chapter. **_


	8. Itsuwari

_**Lots of apologies for the delay in updating. I have started college and have found it difficult to find time to write or do anything else really other than coursework and studying. And of course with the Christmas rush. It's almost impossible to get any writing done. So please enjoy this chapter. Thanks for waiting.**_

**Fai's POV**

Kurogane's hands pressed again my skin, warm and gentle, fingers pressing and stroking, tenderly smoothing down my neck, twirling odd strands of hair around them as they went. His lips pressed lightly against the base of my throat, soft and slightly wet, leaving a trail down to my collar bone.

_**Pain...Panic...Flooding...System...Limbs...Numb...Limp...Staring...Trembling...Kurogane...Kurogane...**_

Bodies entwined as we kissed, his hands stroking down to my hips, causing them to buck forwards. Gasping as I stared up into his eyes, not thinking, and only feeling. My limbs were working on their own, my lips being moved subconsciously against his own as he cradled my head, his eyes half closed as if he too was falling deeper into sensation.

_**Fai...Wake...Up...Fai...Syaoran...Sakura...Mokona...Masquerade...Masquerade...Masquerade...**_

Everything started to hurt. Throbbing. Splitting sharp stinging ache against my cheek, like burning needles prickling beneath my skin. A pain erupted in my skull, like it was cracking and falling apart, crumbling. Kurogane's face above me suddenly became frightening; eyes that I often dwelled in peacefully turned into a gaping hole that I was trying desperately not to fall into. My screams echoed in those black pit like eyes, bouncing around that caused them to shimmer with some strange, twisted joy. A smile spread around now pale violet lips. My head hit ground. I seemed to come round for a moment as I saw the room, turned on its side so the floor was my main view. Kurogane's voice in my ears...

"Don't hit him anymore!!! He's...he's preg..."

Sticky warmth trailed down the side of my head. Ah...so it wasn't Kurogane's loving, doting hand after all...it was my own blood that trickled down my face, dripping slowly from my chin. Those hands that I thought so lovingly brushed and caressed my throat were really pressing fingertips that attempted at closing my pipes, cutting off my oxygen. That's why I dreamed I was in a much happier place...that was why...that was why...

"Pregnant!"

The words rung in my ears shrilly like a phone ring, begging me to pick it up and come back to reality. My eyes widened my hands shakily finding their place to my nearly flat stomach where a tiny bump had began to show. Our baby...Kurogane's and mine. It was inside me...and Masquerade was batting me around...I was losing a lot of blood...I had hit the floor really hard. Our child...I winced as I attempted to rise to have her foot slammed into the side of my head, forcing it down with a thud. My left eye seared with agony that tore up the left side of my head, spreading like roots under soil.

"FAI!!!" Kurogane's voice sounded so anguished...so desperate...like he was restraining frustrated tears. "SYAORAN! HELP HIM!!! WAKE UP PLEASE!!! SYAORAN!!!"

"Ku-uro..." I groaned, my throat constricting with a fog of tears that was rising rapidly, reaching the brink of my eyes, getting ready to walk the plank. Her heel pressed dangerously close to my temple, digging in with the corner so it pricked my skin. I hissed.

He was struggling, shouting words that no longer made any sense. Abuse that seemed to never touch or affect Masquerade. She stared down at me and I stared back, our eyes never meeting although they were on one another's faces. No expression contorted her features. She remained unusually straight faced. Her foot slowly rose and hovered over my abdomen. Blood running icy cold, freezing in my veins and shattering, piercing the muscles and cracking the bones. I went to move but her hand twitched, and those invisible arms of hers held me down, pressing my wrists flat down to the ground, another around my throat, nail pressed neatly directly above my pulse.

"FOR FUCK SAKE STOP IT!!!" Kurogane screeched his voice cracking and dimming.

Her foot didn't move a millimetre. My stomach rose and fell rapidly, as my breathing rate increased, becoming more hysterical. The tears leapt from the plank and free fell down my cheeks in streams.

"Fai, my darling, you look so pathetic right now."

Boiling pain. I curled up as much as her restricting hands would allow, my knees rising as I tried to push the pain to a further, less conscious place. I closed my eyes tightly, screaming out loud so it echoed around the temple, the holy faces staring down unsympathetically down upon me, women cradling babies whose uneven eyes just simply stared, men with beards pointing down on me.

Her foot finally moved although the agony ripping and shredding me up inside didn't shift. She was attacking my organs although she was leaving my abdomen alone...for now. I felt a scratching sensation on my heart and it made my cries get higher and longer. She rose me up so I was on my feet, flicking a finger upwards so I was in suspension, feet inches from the ground. My limbs were frozen in the same spot; my muscles felt like threat coming undone, unwinding and becoming loose, useless string. Scratches started to appear upon my flesh, weeping profusely. One moment Masquerade was there, her eyes glittering with this sense of justice it seemed although her lips remained untouched and then the next, she was gone and I found myself on the floor once more, landing with a crack on my back. An inhuman yelp burst from my lips.

Everything went bright white. Static fuzzed in my ears. It slowly got lower and quieter. Faded...

**Kurogane's POV**

I couldn't stand being there...witnessing this torture being inflicted upon him...it caused my guts to lurch, my head to spin, my eyes to brim with fiercely burning tears, just to re-imagine it. I writhed, I struggled, I cried out but it seemed nothing I did could help him. The scorching touch of the Kreatūra didn't falter or waver once, the stench of my own burning flesh lingering in my nostrils as I was pressed down against the ground, my chest millimetres from touching the concrete beneath me. I struggled to hold myself up with my one free arm that hadn't been twisted down and trapped underneath my own torso. My arm quaked under my weight, feeling the muscles in my arms strain and pull as they tried to keep me up.

_**His beautiful baby blue eyes before mine, laughing at some hidden joke or thought that he wouldn't allow me to hear. His lips pressed soundlessly against mine, affectionate and warm, moulding with my own like we were two pieces of a broken object and had just been put back together again. His supple face, chest, hands, arms, stomach, legs, neck...my hands and lips smoothed over them, like my kisses were the glue holding him together for as long as possible. And he'd whisper something stupid in my ear, something like: "I love you..."**_

My hand dropped and I lay face down on the ground. I dropped my head down, my forehead cooling against the concrete, beads of sweat trickling down the sides of my face. My heart was like a stone, dropping down below the surface and I couldn't rise again. I was staring up at the shimmering light above me, the surface that I yearned to burst through. But I was stranded at the very bottom, only wishing.

"_**You're safe now…I got you…you hear? No one's gonna touch you now…only I'm allowed to put a finger on you…understand?" **_

My own words spiralled around my head like leaves in a breeze, dragging along the bottom of my mind, rising slowly.

"_**Not as if you're going anywhere…and you know why? 'Cos I won't let you go, you hear? You're not leaving this world without my say so. If you die, Mage…I will come after you in the afterlife…and I will kick your ass so hard you won't be able to think of any other nicknames…"**_

My arm moved painfully down, itching for my sword.

"_**Your cheeks are extremely red. I got what I wanted…and I don't want to lose it…not now or ever…"**_

My fingers brushed lightly against the hilt. I gritted my teeth.

"_**I can't live without you, you idiot!"**_

It was all true...I couldn't live without him...how I'd lived all those years...without knowing that name, that face, that laugh, that smile, that man...I'll never know. It doesn't seem like a life at all anymore. A life without Fai D. Fluorite. I gave up my home to be by his side, to be with him for always because that was what I'd promised. I'd promised...forever. Before, if someone had said forever, I wouldn't assumed it meant the amount of time someone could stand to be by your side...but now I know that forever means until you give your last breath, be it by your lover's side or dying protecting them.

When Ashura...when Ashura was going to kill Fai...when Fai was bleeding in my arms and begging me to leave him...I vowed silently to never put him in that kind of situation again. But yet, here we were. And once again, I was useless. Syaoran...Sakura...Mokona...none of them could help this time. It was all up to me and I was failing miserably right now. If I was watching someone else go through this, I'd be shouting "COWARD, COWARD!!!" because that is what I was doing. I was being a coward. I was being weak. I _**needed **_Fai. And no petty revenge scheme could steal that from me.

My fingers slowly curled around my blade. I didn't think, hesitate or pause about this. I just acted blindly. I swung my sword. I cut through what felt like ghostly flames. I felt splatters of slick hotness against my cheeks. Three of the Kreatūra fell, the other two loosened their hold and I was able to finally burst through the surface. I sprinted. I raced. I let out a shout as the adrenaline pumped around my body faster and faster, like fire itself.

Masquerade was there before me. Fai was hovering before her. I raised my sword and was about to strike when I felt a sinking sensation in my gut like I was free falling. I blinked and in that space of my eyelids closing and re-opening, I had been transported to a different space. Everything was pure black, like an abyss. I couldn't tell floor from wall from hole. I didn't know whether I was standing or floating. I reluctantly and tensely lowered my blade, my head frantically turning from side to side, looking, and searching for any sign of Masquerade or Fai. Neither could be seen. My heart beat faster and faster, that adrenaline a dull tingle in my skin, leaving my blood lukewarm and unsettled.

I began to shiver although there was no breeze, no chill. The exhilaration and the fear mixed like a venomous antidote that had been spilled into my bloodstream. All I could hear was my frantic, deep breaths and the drum like pounding of my heart, blood roaring my ears like a blood curdling scream. Blotches of white distorted my vision, like paint dripping from a paintbrush, the ink slowly spreading, gradually aiming to shroud my vision entirely. My organs tightened and my muscles jerked uneasily, swinging me round as I heard echoing footsteps. Nothing stood before or behind me, not to either of my sides. The sound travelled above and around me, like numerous pattering feet were sprinting around me, laughs of a small child floating in and out of my ears. My hands were turning clammier and clammier by the moment, my grip slipping slightly on the hilt of my blade. I realised my hands were quaking, my sword making a chiming sound as it shook. I turned, tried to see where the voices were coming from or even find a single source, something that would bring me to understand what was happening.

The voices were closing in on me, like beasts lurking in the high grass, eyes able to see me, able to move in closer although I could not. I stood frozen in one place, fearful to move forward or back in case I walked right into their clutches, into the path of danger. I was set on waiting for them to come for me, although them revealing themselves from hiding seemed highly unlikely. Each intake of oxygen was too hot, drained from air it seemed so it caused me to breathe faster, my heart rate rapidly increasing. It was like a million fireworks being sent off into the sky, and I was waiting for the final to explode, to end the anticipation and show its true colours.

One laugh. One heartbeat. One touch. One movement. One swing. One blink.

The laughter died, dimming into cold silence. I opened my eyes; that last blink seeming to be the longest in my life. When I opened them, I saw blood and felt its warm fingertips lightly graze my cheek. My breath seemed to halt. It staggered. My hands trembled and sweat trickled down my forehead, dripping off of my chin and landing on the ground with a tender _PLINK._

Blue eyes I'd often gazed lovingly into. Skin my hands had caressed and sprinkled light kisses upon. Lips that had breathed my name and had smiled at me. His hand was touching my forearm, fingers keeping a meek grip. They pressed slightly harder as they watched me, pupils moving from side to side, scanning my eyes helplessly for answers that he longed to seek. He didn't see. He received no reply. No answer. Nothing but utter terror that blazed in my own eyes. A thin line of red trickled down from the left corner of his lips. A similar line slid down the blade and climbed over the hilt of my sword, crashing against my hands like a wave against a rock, staining my skin.

My sword was plunged deep into Fai's stomach...piercing his organs, draining his blood...piercing our child.

He fell backwards, releasing one single last breath, taking my sword with him from my quivering hands. I stared wordlessly, my lips cracked and dry like splintered, worn wood. I wobbled and collapsed to my knees, my stomach threatening to spill its contents but couldn't find the strength. I stared at Fai's body, his face hidden from me. But I knew it was him. Those eyes...they were his...I knew them too well...I squeezed my eyes closed. My memories took control...

_Our bodies were intertwined, hands locked and fingers knotted like string, our breaths pouring over one another and mingling to create our own, new oxygen that only us two could inhale. He mewled my name and I his, my hands tracing over his features and the shape of his body, etching every part of him into memory so that whenever I missed him I could remember this exact moment. Pleasure was our walls, love was our doors. We only let one another in. His back would arch against me and I would hold it upwards, my fingertips stroking down the centre to his lower back. His legs wrapping around my waist, keeping me bound, and both of us would climax. After a moment of catching our breaths, we would kiss lovingly as if to seal the envelope, closing that letter until the next would be written, I being the pen and he the paper. His foggy blue eyes would look up into mine and he would move his head upwards to press our foreheads together, the tip of his nose to the side of mine, his lips and mine parallel. He would whisper that he loved me. I would whisper it in return..._

I opened my eyes, tears falling upon the ground like rain. A storm was brewing and on its way. I curled my numb fingers into my palm. I crawled towards him, unable to tear my gaze away. He looked similar to how he looked when he slept, although his chest remained still like undisturbed water, the beating of his precious heart not breaking the surface. I touched his cheek, brushing his bangs from his face, from his eyes. His skin was like a stone buried in the midst of snow. Stiff and icy. I touched the hilt of the sword, my fingers brushing against the sticky liquid that had clung to it like a coat. I pulled so the sword left Fai's body. His blood tainted the blade and dripped from the end. I raised it to the air and held the point to my throat, breaking my skin slightly like a pinch, poking through my flesh. I winced slightly, but only slightly. I tilted my head backwards, facing the broken ceiling up into the clay grey sky, watching the clouds pass momentarily before pulling the sword slowly backwards, ready to thrust it back into my throat...

"KUROGANE!!!"

A pair of arms flung around mine, stopping the blade short. I felt the tears burst from my eyes as I snapped my eyes open and shut, my breath catching in the back of my throat. I turned to see those eyes staring at me...filled with similar tears. I glanced back round to where Fai's body had once lain to see Masquerade bleeding black ink profusely...

_**I'M REALLY SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER SUCKS! OR IF ANY OF YOU STOPPED READING DUE TO THE 'DEATH SCENE'. **_

_**I thought it would be interesting; see some of your reactions. If this chapter is terrible, let me know and I'll delete it and rewrite it. I'm sorry that this chapter has taken so long and I thank you all for reading so far and continuing your support.**_

_**The next and final chapter will be uploaded tomorrow or over the weekend. **_


End file.
